I Survived Clapham Woods circa 2007

Finally some decent weather....it's only taken all bloody summer. But September has arrived and with it a chance for me to get out and enjoy where I live.

Firstly on Friday dad and I took a wander around the top end of Pagham Harbour and then north across the fields hoping to end up at South Mundham...well that was the plan but we somehow ended up nearer Sidlesham to the west and had to double back to regain some sense of direction. This was with a map and a father who boasts about being a former member of the local boys club who regularly took part in night orienteering exercises over the downs....hmmmm, I'm saying nothing.

So eventually we made our way around the route ending up back at the harbour which is a fantastic place for any bird twitchers out there and for the lazy amongst us there is a hut with a list of all the birds seen at the entrance which is a pleasant gesture.

Friday night and I was off to Clogs' for a DVD night...she provided War of the Worlds and a bucket of KFC and I contributed party rings, marshmallow tea cakes (which are completely droolable), chocolate fingers and a choice selection from my own DVD library.

The verdict on War of the Worlds is could do better....press the stop button as the alien tripod is downed in Boston to alleviate any yelling at a complete implausible story conclusion....seriously Spielberg what were you thinking. Fortunately we finished the night with Heathers which more than makes up for the bad film preceding it.

Saturday, we swung by a local Co-op to pick up picnic food and then caught a bus to High Salvington where we picked up a footpath which leads to the infamous Clapham Woods. Why infamous? well over the years people and dogs who venture into said woods often disappear without a trace....the last being a vicar. This along with Satanic rituals, UFOs and apparitions of a giant bear being associated with the area one would have to wonder why anyone would venture withing several miles of the place. Well it's a well known fact that I have little sense and, to be honest, Chloe isn't much better so we trooped into the woods where 'birds don't sing'.

To be honest I don't think there's much to worry about. There was plenty of wildlife and a very peaceful pasture filled with sheep in which we spent several minutes lazing in the sunshine. We walked all the way through without incident to Clapham Village and the 12th Century church where a helpful old gent provided a little information about the place and in the graveyard I fussed over an adorable ginger cat.

We started back through the woods and diverted back towards town after Clogs' had partaken in the new sport of pheasant chasing....I think they won.

Ending up in Durrington we discovered a fair near our bus stop and wiled away an hour eating candy floss and, in Chloe's case, pooping her pants on an ultra fast wavy slide. (if you look carefully you can see a look of complete and utter terror which I gleefully caught on camera)

We trooped back to her house and attempted to watch Willow in the evening, but we were far too tired and after some girlie chat with her housemates we retired to bed around 11pm. The next day I woke with more aches and pains than I thought possible, which indicated that I am way out of practice.....damn the wet English summer.

Cadbury Advert

Just saw this brillant advert on the telly and thought I'd share....I don't really know why it's great, it just is.

Re-make? Step Away

I have just read that The Goonies, the ultimate childrens' adventure film, is to be re-made....into a cartoon series......What a load of tosh that'll be....this after I read that The Famous Five is also to be re-made with a middle-aged cast who reunite to solve a crime....er New Tricks anyone.

For heavens sake how many more classics have to be maimed before TPTB know to leave well alone.

In other news.....what's that noise? that would be the sound of shredding paperwork as I have finally handed in 'the' dissertation...hoorah! I had a Belgium Bun to celebrate, yay me.

Dissertation.....Argh!!!!.....It is the thing which will not die!!!

P.S. Happy Birthday Joshy Washy

Chocolate Rain

Not sure whether this has been around a while, but it's just a vid I bumped into surfing on YouTube...It's a little repetative and alot random...but, I kinda like it.

Update to My Big List of 'To Do' Stuff

The list will probably balloon to Biblical proportions as I intend to keep adding, due to my addled brains' immensely imaginative (no matter how improbable) process . Who knows, hopefully I will be able to cross some off eventually too.

16. Visit a Cadbury chocolate factory (singing the Oompa Loompa song.....optional)

17. Walk the South Downs way

18. Learn a language...Japanese or Italian

19. Take part in an Archaeological dig

20. Scuba dive a shipwreck in the Caribbean (and find a hoard of golden treasure)

21. See Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in London

22. Write a bloody good pub quiz

23. Take part in a scavenger hunt

24. Eat 5 portions of fruit and veg a day, everyday

25. Learn life saving skills

26. Experience weightlessness

27. Sing either 'Believe it or Not' or 'Maybe Tomorrow' at a Karaoke (theme tunes to The Greatest American Hero & The Littlest Hobo for the uneducated....and Josh)

28. Take singing lessons (preferably before No. 27)

29. Learn to tap dance, line dance, urban dance and body pop (also preferably before No 27 if I'm going to perform it might as well be memorable)

30. Swim with wild dolphins (again)

31. Write up my travel diaries with pictures

32. Learn to play piano or trumpet

To Be Continued......

P.S I had a dream and decided that the 'list' will now be referred to as my 'Jim'll List', adding and (hopefully) carrying out a Jim'll/Jim'll's/Jim'lls'/the odd Jim/ a 'J' day (will have to work on the terminology) as often as possible.

My To Do LIst

So, there I was watching an all time classic episode of Doctor Who, Doomsday....Daleks & Cybermen the ultimate 'ever-so-slightly' scary ensemble and a top episode which leaves me with a lump in my throat by the end, top musical score, top writing, top ending....but I digress....

So,like I said, there I was watching Doctor Who and I got to thinking...time and space travel...how cool would that be, that's something I'd like to do if and when it's possible...I mean where would you want to go and what would you want to do if you could do absolutely anything?

Then I figured, before I become the ultimate time traveller, there is still quite a bit I'd like to do/see round here first. So I thought I start making a list...so, in no particular order, a sample.

1. Go Tornado chasing

2. Climb a tree on a regular basis

3. Write a fantasy/sci fi book

4. Write a fantasy/sci fi script.

5. Milk a Cow

6. Live in Australia

7. Stand up on a surf board.

8. Take an adventure holiday and do all the activities at least once no matter how scary

9. Work in Film/TV as a researcher

10. Take part in a conservation project somewhere in the world, ie other than the UK

11. Ride a horse

12. Take up rock climbing

13. Watch sunrise from the top of Kingley Vale

14. Live on a desert Island and build a working Swiss Family Robinson style tree house

15. Read a book a week

To Be Continued.....

Arctic Expedition: Top Gear Style

Just been watching Top Gear: Polar Special during which team 'Oafish Buffoons' (now there's a term which I should use more often) attempt to travel across the Arctic in a big red 4x4 using sat nav...yes driving to the North Pole...only Clarkson and May would come up with that.

In competition with Richard 'The Hamster' Hammond, taking the traditional dog sled approach, the idea is to see who gets there first and, more to the point, who doesn't get eaten by Polar bears/fall through the ice/ turn into a presenter Popsicle etc, etc

Mightily hearty entertainment is most certainly was....you've got tough cars, utterly amazing scenery, endurance and the kind of trials and tribulations which could only present themselves via the Bean esque Top Gear Team, such as the most tedious game of eye spy ever....eye spy with my little eye something beginning with 'S'.....Snow.....and when fixing a crevasse bridge in below freezing conditions it's probably not the best idea to put a metal nut between your lips for safe keeping Mr Clarkson.

Ruth and Jeeves - 4 week old kittens

Yup I know I'm getting cute kitty'd out, but i don't care...maybe if the rents would get another one I wouldn't have to fill up my blog with other peoples' adaorable balls of fluff

Cats Kittens

I WANT ONE!!!

First Rule of Fight Club....

It's friday night and I'm in a must watch cute kittens kinda of mood.

Perseid Meteor Shower 2007

So, what were you doing between 10.30pm and 3am last night....laying on a dew ridden grassy hill being dive bombed by bats whilst staring skyward watching for pieces of rock desintergrate at great speed in the earths atmosphere?....no....just me then.

Family Fun Day

Well I had oodles of fun earlier today...er....make that yesterday.

Chloe had invited me to a family fun day which had been organised by her work place...I was to be her 'child' for the afternoon. It was all very jolly; ham sarnies, fruit, pastry bites, cubed cheese, cheese straws, Pom Bear crisps, skips and the most delectable chocolate iced cup cakes (of which I had several...I'm hoping the plum and handful of grapes I also had will counteract them).

For entertainment there was music via dodgy single speaker, Frisbee, footie and flailing on the knock off balance beam...and also bouncing, balancing and bloody awful (on my part) agility on various inflatables.

The favourite of mine, which was very Chegger's Plays Pop (with a little less pop and, thankfully, a lot less Cheggers) was the inflatable assault course. Things like this were just not around in my deprived 80's childhood and so I flung myself (quite literally) into the fray.

You start with a hole which I dived through only to get stuck between the based of that and the small hill which you have to dive over...my dive over was more a belly flop....landing very ungainly at the base of the taller hill.....most unladylike climbing with aid of a knotted rope grants me the top vantage point and slide down the canvas....a tumble through a second hole smashes my face into the side of the 'tunnel'....I dive though the tunnel and land in a very undignified and flailing lump on the bouncy finish, shortly followed by an uncontrollable bouncy roll off the safe zone and onto hard grass.

After the humiliation, twisted limbs, possible flashing of knickers and a canvas burn in a place you would really rather not have one, a six year old sails through said course with the ease and agility of a Olympic gymnast. (only to take a nasty tumble over a leg which spasmed at the exact moment he happened to walk past after his commendable performance.)

My inner moppet not one to be out done by an actual moppet, I persevered, gaining less in speed, but more in style...by the end of five hours, with a twisted ankle, rope burn and a very bad hair day, I was exiting the tunnel with a near perfect commando roll.

In your face cocky little g....insert appropriate description on comment page.

Things That Go Bump

It is widely known that I am definitely a nocturnal person. I enjoy the absolute peace and quiet associated with the twilight hours and can ponder the meaning of life to my hearts content without possibility of interruption...apart from perhaps the laboured breathing/snorting/foghorn like sound emanating from my fathers nostrils and throat across the hall, around a corner and through two closed doors.

So it was that last night I had enjoyed immensely the film Mirrormask...a wonderfully visual fantasy adventure which mixes some great British talent with Jim Henson productions. Followed by a little light reading; Torchwood: Border Prince and starting for the second time Wilbur Smith's Warlock.

In retrospect the three pieces of dark chocolate Toblerone had been a mistake, even though ingested at 9:30pm it was still making my heart race after 1am (yes, I know I'm turning into my mother). Still I settled into a fantasy inspired dreamy sleep shortly after curled up hugging Barnaby the bear and Bertie the duck.

It is not unusual for me to be disturbed by the local wildlife outside, especially in the summer month (s) and I will often watch the foxes playing underneath my window. So at 3am (ish) and upon hearing a scratching sound I sat up and searched the area outside for the little scamps. I was surprised at not being able to locate the critters, instead I searched for hedgehog, mice or even a rabbit has been known in the area.....nothing, so I gave up and settle back to sleep. My head had just hit the pillow when the scratching sound came through again. Frustrated I was determined to find the cause, keeping still I listened intently and realised that the sound was coming from inside my room.

Being the brave and inquisitive soul that I am I switched on my lamp and the light fell upon the biggest, hairiest and most grotesque looking spider I have ever seen, having more than a little trouble walking across the coving on the far side of my room. Now I'm not aracnophobic, but this huge creature stilled and I became convinced it was eyeing me (times...god knows how many) up for a midnight snack.

At this point I did what any person in my position would do...I called upon good old dad to eradicate the problem. He sent 'Arnie' on a white water themed holiday and for the next hour I continued with my Wilbur Smith adventure, just in case any siblings, children or extending family came looking for revenge.

Below, for those who dare, is an actual size pic of what dared into my room, so big that I had mistaken the sound it made for a fox!

Heeby Jeebes Alert......

(MOTHER DON'T LOOK)

And this sucker was still floating around the bowl the next morning...

FYI I Heart the New Forest

This is where I was supposed to go on my Birthday, but because I'm fussy I wanted a cloudless day and not a chance of rain. So We went on Saturday instead. OK, so we sat in two huge traffic jams on the way, but such is life.

The rents and I stopped at the Owl and Otter centre ( http://www.ottersandowls.co.uk/ ) first, which should really be renamed Owl, Otter and Miscellaneous Animals Centre due to the facts that's there's all sorts of things there to keep you amused. The otters were cute and splish splashing around to their hearts content, the owls were sleeping mostly (well they are night birds), but there was also a lovely area full of deer which were happily roaming around the whole enclosure with not a care for the humanoid invaders, except for the odd sniff of curiosity/disgust.

I found myself on a mission at this point as it was clear these animals were as tame as tame and I wanted to pet one before leaving. They did have a 'not human admittance' area but one little charmer was close enough to the fence to obliged my fancy and so, along with cats, dogs, rabbits, Kangaroos, Dusky dolphins and Killer Whales, I can add them to my 'have petted' check list.

We stopped for lunch in a lovely little area of woodland with the pre-prepared picnic/three course meal, which mother had sorted which was all very civilised, complete with proper plates, knives and forks and salt and pepper shakers, bless my mother. I refused the chair which father had bought along and choose to 'rough' it on a nearby log (it is the woods after all).

We took a couple of walks to burn off the eats, mother choosing to sit out the latter one, which as usual dad and I took a couple of wrong turns and walked further than we meant to. Before returning to the car, after taking an hour for a 20 minute walk (and this with a map) I saw a wild deer, while fathers was seemingly fascinated with a tall tree and missed it.

I was reasonably pooped when we returned home, after another couple of traffic jams (damn these people getting in my way, and was asleep by 10.30pm. (anyone can tell you that this is virtually unheard of).

Below is a mixture of the best of photos from Saturday's excursion:

Mmmmm

Further to my earlier entry about my birthday activities, I thought I would share a pic of my rather delectable chocolate cake. Made with the help of Betty Crocker and mum's own secret recipe (circa 1906) chocolate fudge sauce......Mmmmm.

Before:

After:

Look good for a 28 year old don't I?

Happy Birthday to Me

Another year, another birthday, another stack of dvd's...which should keep me quiet till at least the next two...maybe three days...and a half.

Fortunately it wasn't all about sitting on my arse since the weather had improved greatly over the last few days it was decided that myself and the rents would spend the day in the New Forest...walking, making friends with the roaming ponies, the usual Enid Bylton esque lark which I enjoy. This was in theory a good plan..walks had been organised, picnic had been prepared...we were good to go. Then we watched the weather forecast last night...sun had been Mon, Tues and Wed and would continue Fri, Sat & Sun, but in the grand tradition of 'stomp on Emma's fun' day Thurs was to be rain for a good portion of the day.....Bah humbug.

After some deliberation it was decided that the New Forest should be skipped today....I hate the rain...instead dad and I decided a shorter and more local walk was to be the order of the day.

With the picnic pre-prepared, and a little research, we wandered to Slindon and a lovely little track along fields, through woods (in which we saw the back end of three deer), dodged some sheep, climbed a hill and, on a personal note, got stung by a stinging nettle. In no particular order see pics:

On the return home I undid all the good calorie burning, muscle toning and heart pumping healthy stuff by eating a slice of my very unhealthy but, oh so, delectable rich chocolaty and home-made (well out of packet) birthday cake....yum!

Weird News

Saw this gem in the news today and thought I'd share with the group:

A judge in America took an unorthodox approach to punishing three men convicted of soliciting sex – he sentenced them to take turns standing outside the court house wearing a bright yellow chicken costume.

While standing in the chicken costumes outside the court in Painesville, Ohio, the three men must also carry a sign saying 'No Chicken Ranch in Painesville'.

This is, apparently, a reference to the World Famous Chicken Ranch, a notorious whorehouse in Nevada, where prostitution and brothels are allowed to operate under a legal framework.

Apparently another felon who called a cop a pig was punished by standing on a street corner with a pig and a sign which read 'this is not a police officer'. Genius, wish we could do that kind of thing here to say the little darlings who though it would be a fantastic idea to pee into the only water source in a town in the flooded Gloucestershire....hmm, what would be apt punishment there I wonder? answers on a postcard.

Mulling Through

Sometimes feeling the way I do and the way I respond to certain things can be a right downer and completely bloody annoying. I've spent a few blue days recently, mainly because I'm missing my flatmates terribly and and still in limbo over certain results. Not to mention the completely crap excuse for a summer which is currently patronising me with episodes of sunny weather mixed with high winds and a touch of showery/thundery rain....bah humbug.

Oh, to get away to the sunny and hot beaches of Queensland or the hungry bustle of New York City....hell I'd even settle fora week in Cornwall at the moment, as long as the sun kept smiling. But alas not a hope in hell of any of the options at the mo.

Not all doom and gloom however, I did take a trip to the cinema to watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix the other night, it looks fantastic, very angsty, very dark and even though I knew what would happen at the end there was still a lump in my throat when Sirius died.....sniff.

Apparently the government have decided, in their wisdom, that I can have some pocket money until I gain satisfactory employment (whoop-de-doo) so the job hunting continues and I even sent off a couple of applications squeezed in during a break of my busy schedule of television watching and Internet surfing....how good am I!

Here's to Stuff

I am a firm believer in the importance of 'stuff....you can do so much with 'stuff' without having to spend ridiculous amounts of energy explaining yourself.

For example, today I spent my time dreaming about stuff, watching the Loose Women debate stuff, reading stuff in the daily newspaper, watch and reading Robin Hood stuff for my dissertation stuff (which is still in need of some quality researching of academic stuff so I can write stuff), I also ate stuff, drank non alcoholic fruit stuff, chatted with the rents about stuff and am currently relaxing in my room watching quality American drama stuff on the television while I converse my stuff filled day to the masses, which I know you all feel very privileged indeed.

Drunk Animals

Aww, bless those wonderful people at Disney who manage to highlight the problems of binge drinking in the animal kingdom.

I especially like the morning after monkey....we've all been there.

Pinch Punch

This is now officially a non smoking zone...Ally that means you have to stub out the fag whilst reading my blog from now on...go on then.....I can still smell it....thank you.

So the rents are back from their hols in Suffolk and they brought me chocolates, oh how I love chocolates...their Thorton's to....ok so we have a Thorton's in Bognor, but somehow these Thorton's choccies are extra special.

Oooo, last in the series of Doctor Who last night and boy was it a corker or what...Captain Jack....Face of Boe....didn't see that one coming. Loved the growing up of Martha....commando Martha in fact, John Simm was excellent as the Master (the dance routine at the beginning was particularly Baz Luhrman inspired and bloody brilliant). Did I get the Saxon links during the series? Did I 'eck, Russell T makes it all a bit too subliminal in my book....I guess I'll just have to work a little harder next series.

Particularly interested in how the Christmas special will turn out...Titanic, huh....well I guess it had to happen sometime. By the by the Doctors' exclamation of What? thrice in the closing moments is the same way they ended the last series....a bit of trivia there for the dedicated.

End of an Era

Well, three years at Uni....bugger me, where did that go? in a blur of assignments, lectures and seminars that's where. Not that it was all work of course I had some fun moments too...mainly in the last two years at Mercury Point....with the best flatmates in the world.

Yes, it's sad but it's true....Club Mercury is no more, the club has disbanded, the flat is now empty....I am indeed an ex-Southamptoner (?) The mates are now spread far and wide; Bournemouth, Cornwall, Wales, N. Ireland, Winchester and lil' ol me on Bognor Regis.

And is really is just me. The rents have buggered off to Suffolk for the week leaving me on me tod. Still, this had it's advantages.....I took a shower at 1am this morning, I haven't brushed my hair in two days, I took a pee with the bathroom door open so I could listen to Stargate SG:1 on the TV and I had choc mint ice cream for my dinner tonight....yep, I'm a rebel and I'm running wild...watch this space!

Bon Jovi on The Graham Norton Show

Well, the gang and I took a little trip to London to watch Graham Norton being filmed. The show was completely hilarious especially when Ali was picked on as the loudest screamer in the audience. (front left to right as Graham makes his way to Ali....Megan and her cheap flip flops, Me in a, ever-so, lovely Rainbow Brite Tee, Alison and the 'Gobby' 'ten foot' one we refer to as Ali)

And Yes it was little innocent Megan chucking her knickers at Jon Bon Jovi...they nearly hit Graham Norton in the face and were then picked up by Jon.

Too Funny!!!

Gangsta Paradise

Cor Blimey, it all kicked off last night round my way. I'm certainly the last to know about things....Basically a huge brawl broke out downstairs at the front of the building. Two gangs (probably drug related) had a go at each other and one bloke got beaten up with a crow bar, someone else pulled a gun and fired off some shots (though apparently they were blanks) and then ran off. He was chased down and stabbed nearby. (both guys are recovering in hospital). The police showed up, arrested were made and a search took place for the gun....all very C.S.I.

The gang members are apparently spread out amongst all blocks of MP and are mostly from London...It's nice to see that they left that life behind to concentrate on making something better of themselves at uni....the funniest thing is that one of the guys involved is studying Law!

Hey-ho, I'm out of here in a few days now....Back to Bognor Regis just in time for the influx of tourist from the capital....joy.

Blink

So, did anyone notice something missing from tonight's Doctor Who...no? Neither did I, even though the Doctor and Martha were but fleeting in appearance, the episode has probably become one of my all time favourites.

All the essential elements were there: great acting, strong story, funny dialogue and truly 'soil your pants' scary monsters. What a fantastic concept; they are statues, they move when your not looking...so don't blink!

And just in case you were wondering, this applies to all statues...everywhere...behind you....be afraid!

Thundercats, Ho!

Apparently Thundercats are up for revival. Is this postmodern version however Waner Bros have decided that a live action adaptation is the way to go.....this could go terribly wrong. Are the actors going to be made up to look like cats or are they going to drop that aspect altogether....in which case wouldn't it just be Thunder?

Still, it will be interesting to see who they decide to cast, my suggestions: Lion-O; Heath Ledger (A Knights Tale), Panthro; Micheal Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile), Tygra; Shane West (ER), Cheetara; Uma Thurman (Kill Bill), WileyKat; Rupert Grint (Harry Potter), WileyKit; Hayden Panettiere (Heroes), Ben Gali; Sean Connery, Mumm-Ra; Edward James Olmos (Battlestar Glactica, new series) and, finally, Snarf; Jack Black.

Off the top of my head that is.

Excitable Cows and Wiggly Trees

After spending a ultimately lazy day in the garden yesterday enjoying the sunshine I began to feel a tad on the energetic side.

Dad had plans to go cockling at Dell Quay early evening and suggested that I go along. Now, I remember cockling....wading out into a fetid smelling bog of a harbour at low tide, reaching into ice cold shallows to find shells which contain small slug like creatures which are apparently edible....I also remember that these same fetid shallows claimed at least one of my favourite wellington boots somewhen in the eighties. I had no plans to relive this particularly fun sounding past time and instead choose to wander the local coastal paths.

There were two choices...north from Dell Quay to Fishbourne or south to Chichester Marina. I began north. The path followed the river and occasionally crossed through fields in which cows were minding their own business chewing the cud, sleeping and other unprintable activities. Giving the herd a wide birth I contiuned on upstream.

Shortly thereafter I happened upon an area of braken which was a hive of activity for local bunnies, feasting on the short cut grass. Naturally they took one look at me and scarpered. Figuring they'd be back I planted my bum and contemplated the age old questions such as: what kind of an animal is Goofy? and what superhero name should I take? Time passed, a few bunnies made brief appearences, but were soon chased off by insane blood thirsty hounds (FYI I'm thinking cow/dog hybrid and am leaning towards Stupendously Luscious Ultra Transmodizoid)

Heading back to Dell Quay I, once again, had to pass through the field of cows....field 1 was passed through without a care, however, upon entering the next field which had been cowless on my first visit I suddenly realised that my exit had been blocked and I was going to have to walk very close indeed....It was at this point that I considered that my choice of a bright red t-shirt was had its drawbacks.

I managed to not poo my pants and made it through the herd and was soon behid the safe haven of the gate....even though while posing for a picture one overly friendly cow decided that my Rainbow Brite top was completely lickable....ewwww!

The rest of my walk was uneventful...though on my way down to Chi Marina I came across a wood full of wiggly trees, what's the crack with wiggly trees?

Dooby Duck's Duck Truck

ohhh, the memories...mixing pop music wil cute 'lil dancing puppets...television gold!