Friday, August 29, 2008

Freaky Friday's and Holiday Plans

I'm officially counting down the days until my holiday to visit friends for some serious catching up, exploring and walking (weather permitting) and possibly some surfing down on the Cornish coast....There's a possibility I may even spark off some inspiration since my love of all things literary has taken a severe decline in recent days/weeks/months....Cornwall, for those who've never set foot in the general direction, harks back to the stormy days of smuggling/wrecking and the general debauchery of treasure seeking and unruly pirateness (a little less Disney-fied and ever-so-slightly Rummed-up Johnny Depp and a little more 'luring boats onto rocks, slitting the throats of unsuspecting sailors and making off with the illicit spoils')...something which entices a morbid fascination with my good self and was the theme of many Tom-boy adventures of my childhood.

So, yup, basically I cant wait and considering the continuation of freakishly disturbed clientele in the good ship Co-op (one of whom took umbrage to the entire shops staff and repeatedly threw obscenities at all after being asked to leave before maturely throwing his shopping at a supervisor....who wisely and sprightly side stepped the Pizza and Vodka missile)....This is, of course, after the altercation of a previous week which started with impatient, moronic, middle-aged and balding male exaggerating the diminishing lifespan of his chosen food stuffs whilst waiting for a pensioner to count out 15 pence worth of change, and ended with my ever patient-self spewing forth with the highly educated and intellectual descriptive of his character as a complete 'Tit' and vacating the till point mid transaction.....Urgh, I growl at my own red-misted inability to retort with something more satisfying and contemptuous toward the ingrate than average playground banter....but then at the time it was the only PG phrase which jumped out in my mind!

And to make matters worse, there has been a severe Green-Eyed drought in recent merging into shift patterns seemingly working against any chance of Cupid working his magic....though my in house spies have managed to deduce that Green-Eyed Guy also goes by the name of 'Rob' and likes a bacon brekkie when nursing the post Bank Holiday hang over.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

My Post About Nothing Excting

My life has taken a turn for the inane and boring and the current weather is even worse...gone are the shorts and out come the the five minutes it took me to cycle home from work this afternoon I ended up being as drippy as Drippy McDripperson from Dripperton on the Dripshire coast....bah!!

Work continues to kill off brain cells at a steady rate and I have even started to dream about the place....which usually involves me being completely stressed out and yelling at stupid customers...especially the ones on their mobile phones....grrrr, one day I will write the idiots guide to shop etiquette, since it is so obviously will also come with a step-by-step guide on how to open plastic carrier bags since 99.9% of people seem complete incapable of doing so, even when I have partially opened the bag for them...a few others include:

8am-10pm means 8am-10pm….we don’t open at 7am the sign says 8am…we don’t close at 11pm…the sign says 10pm…geddit

Freaky staring children...Oi, parental unit...please remove the freaky staring child who is disturbing my scanning fungshui

customer ‘can I have cashback?’ me ‘yep’….long pause….me ‘ and how much would you like’ (since my mind reading abilities seem to have taken the day off.)


I finished scanning items…me ‘do you have a co-op card’….customer ‘and 20richmondsuperkingmenthol’ I get cigarettes ‘and do you have a co-op card….customer ‘and a pack of green rizzlas’….i get the rizzlas ‘and do you have a co-op card?’ customer ‘and a bottle of London gin’…I get the gin ‘is there anything else?...ignored ‘how much is that’ ‘£XX.XX’ I take the money and give the receipt ‘oh I have a co-op card…is it too late to use it’…me ‘If I kill you now I will be doing a great service world’s retail assistants’

On the plus side there is the green-eyed guy who, although only putting in an appearance but once a week, brightens up my day no end....since I initiated conversation some weeks ago we have had many pleasant conversations about the weather just the weather...I really need to get some new material...something which has a beginning, middle and end, displays my discerning wit and brilliant personality
and fills the 15-30 seconds it takes to serve the guy....oh, which reminds me, whilst watching a recent episode of SGA I realised that Ronan (aka Jason Momoa) has the same luscious green eyes and after some scouting found this:

Which is actually a pretty good likeness to my own Green-Eyed Guy...seriously, it's uncanny...though my Green-Eyed Guy does smiley rather than mean and moody and forms whole words rather than growls.

Okay...enough perving....seriously enough.....don't make make get a bucket of cold water....thank you....the weekend just gone played an important role in my 'doing absolutely nothing constructive Sunday' which involved staying in my PJ's and watching 5....yes, that was 5....dvds in a row....and these were simple, no cognitive effort needed dvds,
namely...ahem...D.A.R.Y.L (kudos to those who can tell me the meaning behind the acronym), Flight of the Navigator, SpaceCamp, E.T. and The Adventures of Baron Munchausen....Ooo, and for extra kudos if anyone knows the connection between the first three (it's tenuous, but there is one).

So there you go, that's me...I promise to come up with something insightful and exciting when I win the lotto and can blow this joint (hopefully with green-eyed guy)

Monday, August 04, 2008

My Precious

Ugh, another year closer to being officially how come I still get all excited when I see Party Rings huh?........Whatever....Ooo, and lookit my Precious:

Right well I'm off to spend some quality time with Jesen and Jared ;-)