Friday, November 27, 2009

Things Which Go Bump in the Night

The unusual mild temperatures for November mixed with the multiple low pressures currently bombarding our shores had a most unwelcoming affect late last night. I'm getting used to the constant rain and gale force gusts, but admittedly jumped out of my gourd a little after midnight when a daylight flash was followed immediately by the loudest boom I have heard in my life. The house shook, neighbourhood dogs started going crazy and every car alarm within a half mile begin to sing out in protest of the unannounced storm. This of course was followed by a deluge of H2O which continued for several minutes and another building rocking flash/boom lightening strike....then as quick as it had come the storm moved off to annoy another county.

I've not heard if there was any damaged caused, but....damn...that lightening was very, very close....even a rabid storm lover like myself was left a little rattled.

Pulled these images from the MET website shortly thereafter...first one showing the rain across the country, may I draw your attention to the South East....

Oooo, what pretty colours I hear you say....of course my house is under that section of white in the centre of the most intense part of the storm

Just as an edit, I've since heard on the local radio that four houses were struck and damaged in last nights storm.

In the below map the areas hit are tagged yellow and my house in green...all are within a mile.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Oh, I do Love to Be Beside the Seaside

Gah, it's getting ridiculously close to Christmas now isn't it...Carol singers, hot toddies, roasted chestnuts and lashings of snow are some of the traditions which will be passing me by as per. A white Christmas would be a welcome change, especially since all that the weather seems capable of recently is rain and gale force winds. We've been luckier round these parts than the North of the country...poor Cumbria (of the Lake District fame) had something like 12 inches of rain in a day last week which led to all kinds of flooding shenanigans, the town centre was under 8ft of water at one point, road bridges have collapsed and damage no doubt into the millions cost wise...Apparently the floods was a once in a 1000 years kinda deal, which I'm sure is a great comfort to those now homeless and jobless and what's the forecast for the rest of this week....I'll give you a clue...starts with 'r' ends with 'n' and has a bucket full of H2O in the

At least some people have been having fun in the 60+mph decide

And I ventured out yesterday in the gap between squalls to check out whether it was worth having a dip.

Least there was this to perk up my weekend

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Who Would've Noticed Another Mad Man Round Here

For those who have, those who are and those who will continue to.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Generation X......'X' as in Fail

These are genuine G.C.S.E. answers from 16 year olds

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Oh. Very. Dear)

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(sadly this may harbour some truth)

Q Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow
(no denying this one)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U
(I see a future not involving medicine)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
(admittedly this could work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean section'
A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (no faulting the logic)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (And people say watching too much TV is a bad thing)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head

I'll wager many of these folks went on to gain A* grades in their exams...sheesh.