Sunday, June 29, 2008

Doctor Who 4.12 - The Stolen Earth

By-crikey what a fabulously exciting episode of Doctor Who last night... (here be spoilers)

So, something's gone a bit awry on planet Earth....

But don't worry that bloke from Dempsey and Makepeace, UNIT and Martha Jones'll sort it.....

Ah, ok then.....not to worry....Torchwood will send the blaggards packing with tails between legs.....

Hmmmmmm......well obviously The Doctor is on the case and will swoop in to save the day any minute now.....

Huh.....well things couldn't possibly get any worse....

Right....well what's needed here is a cunning plan.....

And of course a dashing hero with a, showdown time....but hang on, everyone's looking a bit serious...

Oh dear, I do believe it's all gone tit's up....


Friday, June 27, 2008

Humdrum with a Pinch of the Crazy

Not anything terrifically interesting to talk about really....tomorrow is the 'Audience with the Hewlett's' and anyone who knows me realises that I would have been there if I could but for a couple of and the stupidity that is my job...which means I have to work on a Saturday...until 10pm no no Hewlett's for be fair I probably scared them enough back at P2 a couple of years ago and the restraining order still has a couple of months on it, so best no rock the boat....;-)

So, what has been the highlight of my week...well let's run through shall, work work (at which there's no bags, no change, no staff...too many customers, too many vouchers, too many miserable sods.....staff and customers...dodgy equipment, which is apparently my fault....and at one point no electricity...also apparently my is the price of bread which has increased air-con, because of the electrician brought in no fix the electricity problem....oh, and today a middle-aged drunk with a lazy eye announced that he prefers to be served by the 'cuddly' ladies on staff....don't really know what to do with that, except for maybe get a restraining order of my own)

What else have I been up got nothin'....oh, wait I bumped into a slightly off the ball gent, with wild hair and dressed in a pin-stripe suit who was in search of a banana to shove in the tailpipe of strange, metallic, cone shaped individuals who appeared to be vaporising cotton tops who weren't quick enough to run up flights of stairs.......hmmmmm, there is a slim chance that may have been a dream......which reminds me...the first part of the finale of Doctor Who tomorrow....Woo-hoo...which almost makes up for missing out on the Hewlett's......I said almost.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Feelin' Grumbly

In the great tradition of British summer weather's it's all gone a bit pants and things in the work place have fared no better...apparently the word is out that it's open season at Co-op and it seems like every bugger has been pinching some really random stuff...obviously wine and beer seem to walk out the store on their own but this past week has seen entire shelves of cheese, lamb joints, 185g bars of chocolate and an assortment of other bits and bobs apparently growing legs and wandering off....and for the most part there is not a jot I can do about it....not that my priority is to chase thieving toerags down the street...but the reaction on my late night Saturday shift from the customers in the store at the time was not exactly what you would call understanding.

7.30pm on a Saturday night...three (out of four) tills are open and there are four staff members in total...three of which are girls and the last a young lad of 17.....I'm wondering why we are so packed since Doctor Who is on and I'll be dammed if I'd rather be out buying a pint of milk if I had the, like I said, we're dead busy with around 20-25 people waiting to be served...and I'm vaguely aware of a group of youngsters ( aged about 12-14) heading to the shop door looking rather shifty....I ring for the supervisor as they head out the door and hear from the awaiting customers that the little darlings have taken off with a keg of beers....the supervisor finally puts in an appearance and goes to check the CCTV...some of the customers start to tut and mutter comments under their breath along the lines of 'they've just walked out with a bunch of beers...what are you going to do about it?' to which I bluntly reply 'sod all'....apparently the customers prefer that I be in two places at once (serving them and enforcing the law) and also lay myself open to the abuse which I would no doubt get from the little 'rascals' who pinched the beer......not that any of the 20 or so people in the queue (right next to the beer shelf I might add) stepped in to suggest that the teens were too young to be messing around with alcohol and that they'd be better off going back to their mothers....oh no, apparently that's something else I'm supposed to be seeing with my third eye and dealing with my extra sensory perception....that and my obvious superpowers, which is what I would have needed if I had tried to chase after them and reclaimed the stock....and although I am indeed often mistaken for Wonder Woman, even I have to admit that is in fact where the similarities end.

So in job blows....the customers have their heads stuck firmly up their own arses, but will gladly contribute their opinions as to how I should be doing my job.....and those not sticking their oar in are probably the ones vacating the premises without paying with a basket full of cheese....oh and I forgot to mention the box of tins which split and fell on my arm this afternoon leaving me with one hell of a bruise forming....and the elderly woman and her daughter who were beaten up outside the front of the store last Monday by a woman with a baseball bat because the elderly lady didn't cross the road fast enough!!

I need a holiday...preferably somewhere like:

Sunday, June 08, 2008

London Calling

Right, before I begin my mass write up of my hugely fandabbidozy( it's a Crankie term and I'm bringing it back) weekend I just wanted to share this:

British summer = British Strawberries......Yum!

Right...onward...had a couple of days off so myself and a few choice friends mosied on over to Londontown for some exploring, culture and the most rocking two hours of the year so far.

Upon alighting the train in the Capital this is possibly not the most reassuring sign to read in the current climate:

A WWII bomb, dug up after 60 years which apparently had started ticking and was causing a bit of an inconvenience on the underground system....on the only weekend in which I needed to be in London and travel on said underground system, naturally.

The 'gang' (from left to right in above photo Chloe, James & Tom) was coming for far and wide...and Cornwall...and so the first stop of the day was lunch with some social type natter at which Tom regaled us with the oh-so humorous tale of when he became trapped in a glass telephone box and made a richeous Red Dwarf reference when Chloe tried to diss him with a 'L' sign by asking if she was a dyslexic hologram.....So, we ate, drank and chortled to Tom's anecdotes and then tootled along the South Bank to the Tate attempt to assert some culture into our lives.

Now I've never been to the Tate before and although I'm open minded and pretty liberal I'm fairly certain that the majority of 'artists', a term which I used very loosely, are in fact taking the mickey...because if not then every piece of artwork which I produced circa 1983/84...which I like to refer to as my 'crayola' period...should be worth a mint by now. The 'gang' split into those trying to appreciate the deeper meaning behind the illustrious works of 'art' and myself and Tommo...who blundered round the galleries disbelieving the gumpf filled descriptives attached to splotches of colour and squiggly lines on canvas and in turn discussed our own conclusions as to the intended metaphor and mind set of the 'artists' of my favourites from dear Tommo was 'Lemmings in coloured suits through a combine harvester' as a descriptive of Pollock's 'Summertime' (an image of which I insert for you own conclusions...feel free to comment)

After a few frowns and a couple of 'tut's' from a middle aged women in horn rimmed glasses and plaid the 'gang' vacated the vicinity of the Tate and headed off for the finale of the day.

I say headed off, but there was actually a fair amount of incessant faffing from a couple of member of the group (one not pictured) who insisted in stopping in practically every pub on the way to Wembley and even though we had arrived many, many hours before the gig started we still managed to get into the stadium and find a suitable ( if not completely ideal) spot a mere matter of minutes before Grohl and Co appeared on stage.....gig? Wembley? Grohl and Co?....Oh yes did I not mention the reason for the 'gang' to be London bound...only the biggest gig of the season for which we had 'shiny' tickets. Now our lateness, as mentioned, meant a further away experience that first anticipated...though is was still a pretty good view of grunged up Dave Grohl (aka Uncle Dave....aka The Foo Fighters)....and without the usual Mosh Pit squashiness (those born pre 60s/70's may wish to google 'mosh pit' for explanation).

Now the following 2 or so hours are already becoming a bit of a blur, but the Cliff-notes go something like: Much whooping, singing, rocking out, saluting of Dave Grohl, drink flinging, acoustic lighter moments, head banging, guitar solo, richeous Tyler drum solo, Triangle solo (yes I said Triangle solo!), swearing, Uncle Dave's appreciation of the masses (86,000 to be exact), flashing (of the photography kind to clarify), crowd solo, finale, encore and fireworks....And so we come to the end and my photos from Foo Fighters @ Wembley Stadium (and other Londontown randomness including the after gig Chinese, Kensington Gardens, Chloe 'lending a hand' and the Albert Hall) 2008.