Sunday, December 30, 2007


It's been a while since I enlightened the world on my daily happenings so I thought an update was in order. Firstly, and in case you hadn't noticed, it was Christmas last week. A family affair for me.....back to the homestead in Bognor with the rents and added skiing, log cabins/fires or building snowmen for me....nope, and the extra chilly weather which we had been experiencing at least could have provided something in resemblance to 'Winter Wonderlandish' for extra Christmassiness (it can be a word), but this was replaced with the usual dark, cloudy and soggy on the day itself....yep traditional British Christmas weather right there.

As with most people Christmas traditions are upheld each year in our house (decorations, lights, listening to Christmas songs, arguments, ingestion of way too much chocolate and the need for Gaviscon) , the main one is to turn off the TV (not the whole time I hasten to add) and observe some quality family time in the guise of participation in 'fun' card and board games (non-optional.....unless you're mum, well she is in charge of the food provisions so if she wants to be the festive Grinch there's no argument from me). Cribbage, Uno, Trivial Pursuit and, the newly purchased, Underground: The London board game were the top choices this year. Fun and frolics were had by all, even though some, so called, family members lowered the wholesome tone by cheating, none too discreetly either *coughs* Sarah *coughs*....tables were turned however when father and I ganged up and gave her an arse whooping in a later game.....yep, like I said honest, wholesome family fun.

So, further to my Christmas round up another observed tradition is, or at least should be, watching the top Christmas TV line up, which this year equated to BBC's Oliver Twist (which was actually pre-Christmas), ITV's The Old Curiosity Shop, Eastenders (because absolute misery is a must for Christmas viewing) and Doctor Who (of course).....the latter was excellent even if it bore more than a passing resemblance to The Poseidon Adventure, but in space and with less Gene Hackman and a little more Kylie Minogue. Apart from that I was very thankful for the 11 DVDs I received from Santa, as the traditional Christmas TV fare was beyond pants....I mean seriously as pants go this was a choice of either grannies frilly pantaloons or discarded 1960's woollies, ripped and with skid marks.

So, the New Year is on the way....I'll soon be returning to the new postcode and hopefully may even find employment, if i can convince some silly bugger I'm worth it....for now though there's just enough time for me to whoop dad at Cribbage one last time.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Club Mercury's Final Christmas Do

Crikey, I've been busier in the last couple of days than I have been in the last six months. Visited the old haunting ground of Southampton yesterday, meeting up with Alison (times 2) Elin and Dan (the bat) for lunch and mass gossip session.

The poxy train took much longer than expected/advertised, which meant that the shopping I was going to do in the town had to be scrapped. Still, I had a decent chat with Alison, much laughs with Dan and when the other pair finally showed up (who knew it would be difficult to park in S'ton the week before x-mas) we ate food and made a mess with wrapping paper and envelopes. I'd gone with fluffy venereal diseases for Elin and Ally (Herpes and Syphilis to be exact) the gift which keeps on giving and can be shared with loved ones. ( thanks to the attached leaflet we all learnt something useful and tried to remember which monarch had gone doo-lally with the pink worm....I'm going with Nigel Hawthorne.

So, after our meal, and due to our current location being cold enough to freeze off brass monkeys (or however the phrase goes), we descended on a well known coffee house for hot chocolate and cake.....hmmmmmm. Not long after this I realised I was about to miss my train and hi-tailed it to the station....where I arrived just in time to see said train pulling out of the station and, subsequently, the rush-hour (which isn't rushed in any sense of the word, nor does it take an hour) journey took me just shy of 3 hours and 3 changes to get which time I was officially an Ems-sicle.

Today I wandered round pretty much every side road in the Worthing area shopping, seeing to appointments and generally getting my bearings (which was a little trial and error....with emphasis on the error), hopefully I'll be all over the direction stuff when I venture out tomorrow.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Irn Bru Christmas Ad

New Diggs

Officially got all moved into my room in the shared house in Worthing yesterday.....It was a relatively simple process, even if there was panicky moment when we thought that the TV wasn't going to work ( I hate technology it should be press button, switch on, does everything automatically, done)....but crisis was soon averted and my fabulous Viera switched on in all it's Technicolor glory.

Still need some storage, mainly for my excessive dvd collection, curtains (thankfully it's proper dark in the mornings at the moment) and some lamps to make it cozy. I also need to move some more stuff in, but since I'm back to Bognor next week for Christmas, that can wait.

One of my new housemates, Emma, had invited a couple of her friends round to watch the finale of (Fi)X-Factor and had prepared a bunch of tasty munchies. I decided to forgo the (Fi)X-Factor part of proceedings, retiring instead back to my room with a plate full of food to watch Robin Hood.

Speaking of, quite impressed by last nights episode....plenty of expected action and adventure, complete with a treasure hunt....who'd have thought it'd be the Oxo mum.....a randy Oxo mum apparently too. Marian got herself into to a right load of doo-doo....actually feeling sorry for Guy of Gisbourne, not only is he being led a merry dance by the young maiden but he seems to be the only bloke in Nottingham who can't recognise lady lumps under a tunic.....for heavens sake man, do you not have eyes!

Anyway, the Nightwatchman was revealed to Guy and then he and Alan covered it up to protect Marian in front of the Guy doing this out of the good of his heart or to manipulate Marian in the future.....hmmm it's a puzzler.

Thursday, December 13, 2007


The incomprehensible has happened....I just don't know what to will I possibly cope?......I just keep pinching myself hoping that it is in fact some kind of terrible nightmare, but then I open my eyes and see something which chills me to the core......

"No satellite signal is being received"
I'm not going to panic, going to happen....I can manage without television, it's not like I'm addicted or it me or is it getting hot in here, my palms are getting awfully sweaty.......I'm just going to sit in the corner on my own for a while, hug a pillow and rock gently for a few hours......but not because I'm panicking.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


I move house in four days....four days people and there's a whole bunch of stuff that needs to be sorted before then.....TV licence, wrap Christmas presents, arrange DSS appointment in Worthing Branch, get a job, write and post Christmas cards....and , um, well pack everything. Notice my priorities there, hmm maybe I should work through that 'to do' list backwards.

I'm sure there's a bunch of stuff which I've forgotten about which also need to be taken into consideration for the why the heck am I moving house this close to Christmas....but certain parental factions are sure to have the slack and will probably be whipping me with it before long.....personally I'm of the 'chuck everything into a box and sort it out sometime in the future' vain of moving, but I'm not too sure how successful that will turn out...meh.

So the countdown continues and I'm sure there's something constructive I could be doing right now......Ooo, is that a split end...better sort that.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Robin of Muttley

Still finding Robin Hood relatively entertaining, it seems to have found a decent enough balance of swashbuckling, comedy and postmodern referencing. Though the other week Allan-a-Dale, after wrestling a nun into bushes (could have turned into a whole other show right there) was guilty of delivering the, ever-so-slightly, dodgy line of 'say a little prayer for me' before pegging it.

This evening I must admit I nearly laughed up a lung due to the gratuitous Hanna/Barbera ref.....I guess it was only a matter of time during an episode where the principle plot device was a pigeon...could have been worse, Little John could have sparked up a long distance relationship with Clara or perhaps Djaq could have had a Tet-a-tet with Dr Glossop while Much took his pet squirrel to see the wondrous and knowledgeable Macadoo.

In case you missed it the ref I am referring to is the sheriff's dialogue of 'Catch that pigeon.....Now!'

While I'm on dialogue there was some corking stuff in an episode a few weeks back delivered by the fantastically funny Josie Lawrence (whatever has she been doing since Who's Line....It's a puzzler), highlights included; 'Hello baldy' (to the sheriff), 'Slimey little snothead' (descriptive of Guy) and my personal favourite....'Hairy pig witted fox turd I’ll pluck your eyeballs from your bony skull and squelch them into cesspits'....a phrase which surely deserves to be integrated into modern societal dialect....for example when dealing with cold callers, mad drivers, chavs......and carol singers

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My So Called Dad

My dad made me laugh today....we have the same puerile and sarcastic sense of humour and more often than not these days its the frequency of senile moments which has me in stitches, his joke telling is usually about as successful as a Tommy Cooper magic trick and not usually for the ears of the young and innocent like my good self.

While watching Are You Smarter Than a Ten Year Old? (I know but he’s retired and I’m unemployed) a contestant was asked a question which involved knowing numbers in French. Dad, who took some classes several years ago, dutifully rattled off 1-20 in French ( I think I was supposed to be impressed) and I said ‘but what about in German?’ dad paused a moment before retorting with Vun, Too, Sree, Vour etc….ala Allo Allo...poor old dad, growing up in the 50's what chance did he really have…Larry Grayson, Benny Hill and Tommy Cooper….I rest my case.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Buffy Fest '07

Visited Alison yesterday for a complete fest of all things Buffyverse...with a smidgen of Barrowman thrown in for good measure.

With junk food in abundance we got through a carefully selected 5 episodes of the hilarious fantasy series, one from each season: Nightmares, Go Fish, Band Candy, Superstar and finally Once More With Feeling. (time constraints meant skipping season 5 and 7 episodes for the delicious musical edition)

Revelling in the top notch action/drama, inventive/addictive dialogue, out dated SFX and a surprising amount of flashes of buff (the male kind not the character and mainly from Nic Brendon, but with added Marc Blucas, Wentworth Miller and David Borenanz) I gorged on Peanut M & M's and delved into an intellectual debate on the progression of 'meh' as a descriptive in modern language, as well as the obvious academic 'Buffyverse' debates....well reminiscing really...well I supposed it could be considered a flitting of trivia between two a squint....yes, I am that sad.

In all a good time was had by us both...and I was only slightly bothered that on my return journey my train was delayed by 20 mins putting me smack bang in the middle of rush hour on a train consisting of two carriages and nowhere near enough seats, sandwiched between a loved up couple incapable of orifice separation, a gaggle of chavs involved in the life changing conversation of Westlife or Boyzone and a middle aged woman who seemed unaware that mobile phones have a microphone, for 1hr 1/ i say, 'slightly' bothered.

Friday, November 16, 2007

You know what Doctor....You were MY Doctor

In the depths of the cheesiest excuse for entertainment which is Children in Need this evening I was treated to 8 minutes of pure genius from the pen of Steven Moffat. I am of course talking about the one off special Doctor Who: Time Crash which aired this evening.

Not only following on directly from the end of the previous series but incorporating a double helping of Doctor madness. The incorrigibly delightful David Tennant was joined by Peter Davison complete with Cricket jacket and accessorized vegetable on his lapel for 8 minutes of screen good in fact that I hopped straight over to the website to watch again to make sure I hadn't missed anything.....and basically bathe in every utterly brilliant second.

Fast paced and utterly ridiculous dialogue, with some special self aware moments from Mr. Tennant, since like myself Peter Davison was my Doctor, the pair avert the end of the universe via a paradoxical impossibility only manageable in the realm of the Who.

Best quotes include:

'Fair play to you, not many people can carry off a decorative vegetable'

'Hey I'm the Doctor. I can save the universe with a kettle and some string....and look at me I'm wearing a vegetable'

'End of the universe butter-fingers'

If you did miss it, and it's understandable since you would have had to sit through a couple of hours of mind numbing pseudo entertainment disguised as a fund raiser, I bring you the direct link.....all hail me:

Monday, November 12, 2007


Okay, I'll get it over with because it's all very embarrassing....Graduation day was last Friday which involved dressing up in pompus, ill fitting, outfits and sitting through boring speeches and monotonous waiting for you name to be called to then experience a minute of utter terror in front of friends, family , lecturers and a couple of hundred complete strangers whilst trying to keep a mortar board balanced on your nogging and not be the person who trips on their gown to fall flat on their face.

It all went accordingly and was followed by a few minutes of posing for a gazillion photos, see above, before enjoying a meager buffet and chatting to friends and their families as well as catching up with lecturers Claire and Darren.....who called me a geek, ah how little he knows me after three I am a total TV nut and nerd and proud of it.

Later I met up with the Club Mercury crowd for a reunion, of sorts, at the cheapest pub in Southampton. Lot of fun and merriment was had by all and I'm sure there are plenty of pics, due to me being nearly blind from the flash, and even a video out there somewhere in YouTube land....not giving you the link though.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Dad's Little Carrot

Not quite sure what to say about this root vegetable which my father has grown at his allotment....mum thought it was hilarious, but then again she always had a filthy mind....naturally I had to have the logistics of the 'funny' explained, because as you know I am as pure as the driven snow.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Movie Night

Had a fabulous time at my very good friend Clogs' place watching a mass of movies over the weekend. First up, in keeping with the forthcoming Halloween thingy coming up, we trolled through Final Destination 1, 2 and 3. Lots of gore, hilariously ludicrous deaths reminiscent of the utterly wonderful TV series Dead Like Me...what happened to Dead Like Me, were Americans worried it's individuality would cause them to engage some brain activity I wonder....after the back-to-back death, blood and 'ick factor which is the Final Destination films poor Chloe squeaked that fluffy bunnies and Disney should be the way to go next so we borrowed.....House of Wax (2005) from her housemate.

I've not seen the original but I fear it is better than this remake...blood, squeamish moments of both gore and the casts acting ability (Paris Hilton? WTF), stupid teenagers doing stupid things...copping off one moment and being impaled the of wax has mass meltdown....last surviving teens rescued and the complete unsurprse 'there is another murderer' conclusion.

From there we watched Disney's Aladdin and.....Annie, proper cheese, but magnificent production, when compared to what is classed as a musical production these days...don't even get me started on High School Musical....grrr arg!

Robin Hood this week continued to please..Robin actually showing a little menace and being all 'Douglas Fairbanks' down a flag on the outside of the castle (OK so it was mainly CGI but meh)....Was nice to see Will Scarlet have a bit of gumption for a change, reminiscent of Ray Winstone's portrayal of the character in RoS way back when (although not quite as utterly crazy). The only bit which was a tad annoying was the time it took for deathbed girl to be back to full of beans...bloody miracle cure that...still I suppose there was much to fit into the 45 mins this week. And next week it looks like the mole...aka Alan-a-Dale....has been rumbled, potentially a good angsty/action episode...I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Hey, Matthew

Bloody hell, this song is a blast from the past...some when around 1987...and yes I remember every single one of the shows mentioned.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Allusive Trophies and Plot Lines

Another day another England defeat, this time at the hands of South African in the Rugby World Cup. I'm not really into to Sport in general, I find the whole thing about as exciting as the blue rinse parade in Tesco on Pension day. Since there had been much 'hoohar' about this particular game, and the fact that Saturday television has seriously slim pickings these days, I thought I'd give it a go.

It was a very stop/go affair with seemingly endless rules and regulations to abide by during the play and endless scrums which don't really seem to achieve anything. England put in a fair effort....I think, it was sort of difficult to tell half the time since the ball spent most of it's time air bound....and at least we didn't get completely stuffed. Ultimately the game for me was 20% 'c'mon England' 40% confusion 15% 'we was robbed' 15% totty (well let's face it cauliflower ears and broken noses 'aint that attractive) and 10% triage. I think I'll stick to what I know...which brings me to.......

Robin Hood. Not a bad episode all told, though a bit lackluster in terms of action, bar a couple of fights between Guy and Robin. One or two funny one-liners, even verging on the risque at one point which was a surprise. A continuation of the 'turning' of outlaw Alan-a-Dale...still seems a bit far fetched considering that his own brother was murdered by the sheriff, but I'm interested to see where writers are going with it, since it's new to the story. And when are the sheriff and Guy going to realise that Marian is always going to take Robin's side...for heavens sake it's presented itself often enough, but the bumbling duo continue to give her a reprieve. A ladies moment...Guy with his shirt off looking slightly oiled and all pecked out....they can certainly continue with that particular line of presentation. The series continues to be fairly mediocre in terms of story, which is a shame because there is potential there if only they'd bite the bullet and run with it.....

Now with the BBC is serious financial discomfort I wonder whether Robin Hood will be a casualty in the near future, and then what will we have to look forward to...repeats, repeats and repeats.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Twenty Years On.....The Great Storm

Bloody hell, time does fly...apparently it's twenty years since the 'hurricane'/Great Storm/very high this day nobody can quite make up their mind....caused havoc across the country.

I was 8 years old at the time and so the memory here is a little hazy. What I do remember is being a little anxious about the huge pine tree which stands nearby as the winds outside became more and more ferocious. For several years after, every time high winds hit our area I would sleep on my mattress on the floor of my parents room, still convinced that the Pine tree would collapse onto the house....It's still standing to this day.

All I really recall is the sound that the winds made...a whistling which could have made my ears bleed.....Having since lived on the 13th floor during some severe stormy weather I don't envy the people who were living in Bognor's only tower block back in '87. My sister, ever diligent and aware of incidents happening around her....slept through the whole thing like the proverbial baby.

The morning after was a school day, dad had somehow managed to get to work and had phoned to say don't bother sending the kids in as the roads were pretty much impassable. Yes, my school was open after the worst storm in over 200 years....fools.

Us kids spent our day checking out the nearby damage. Several large trees had fallen across Aldwick Road near The Pound, windows were impossible to see through due to the layer upon layer of crap covering them, the dividing fence between us and the neighbours was demolished and the back gate seemed to have disappeared....we got off lucky in the area I guess, considering Sussex had seen some of the worst damage in the country.

Generally, I remember the potential for fun after the storm, due to the amount of felled trees which were so much easier to climb when horizontal. The family took a trip to the nearby Eartham Woods shortly after the storm and we were all disappointed as to how much had changed. A huge portion had been completely destroyed and I've only recently returned to the woods which once again resembles a proper woodland area.

More famously, large Estates became unrecognisable, roofs were ripped off flats in Littlehampton and other areas, caravan parks flattened, Seven Oaks became One Oak, power lines were down all over the place and Gordon Kaye (Renie from 'Allo 'Allo) was very nearly killed when a tree struck his car. It was all a little odd for an 8 year old to take in really, but I'm guessing it was the start of my fascination towards weird weather.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Cashback (2006)

Watched this fabulously brilliant, original and funny film last night. It mixes the banally mundane with a touch of romance with an intriguing fantasy twist, capturing in detail the observations of the main character Ben, played uncompromisingly well by Sean Biggerstaff (probably best remembered as Oliver Wood from Harry Potter). Why can't more films be this honest and pleasurable?

Robin Hood....Episode Two

I have to admit that tonight's episode of Robin Hood wasn't too bad....well that was less difficult than I thought it would be to say. Apart from the glaringly obvious green gaming tables in Nottingham Castle and a few contemporary phrases chucked in willy nilly it was actually rather entertaining. And if you think about it so much could have gone wrong in this episode.

So the premise was rather similar to three/ four (if you count the original) well known Hollywood heist movies and Jonas Armstrong can in no way be compared to the sex god who is George Clooney, but things moved along quite nicely, there was a little tension and a couple of good 'cor blimey' moments, which has previous been difficult to capture in the series due to the continuing theme of Robin the action hero....with 'PC' action.

Also Dexter Fletcher, yes, him off Hotel Babylon (for the youngsters)/Press Gang (for the over the hill mob) was better than expected as the German Count....when he first opened his mouth I inwardly groaned thinking the accent was going to be cringe worthy camped up (aka not unlike 'allo 'allo)...but instead it was passed off very well, pleasing mainly because Keith Allen has the monopoly on camp in this series.

So, in all a vast improvement on last weeks if the art department would actually sit back and look and the completely contemporary wardrobe and tone it down a tad then this series would actually stand a chance.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Sony Bravia - Play Doh

Bless those people at Sony who so some of the best adverts on the telly....bouncey balls in San Francisco, Paint Fireworks in Glasgow and now Play-Doh Rabbits in NYC...Genius.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Robin Hood....Seriously What Are They Thinking?

Since I just wrote a whole dissertation on the subject I thought I give the new version of Robin Hood another go. During the repeated viewing of the first series for my studies I realised there were parts which were actually quit good. However this was not a strong episode and had some pretty farcical moments too boot.

I know that it's supposed to be contemporary and that it's been a while since the target audience had something to compare it to but even so I'm pretty sure that descriptive word such as 'skanky' and 'manky' were not part of the slang in medieval times. Also post-modern popular cultural referencing can be funny and clever when used in the right scenario but I don't think 'It's goodbye from me...and it's goodbye from him' when leaving Nottingham Castle is it.

So the themes of the thing were that Robin is captured while carrying out some derring-do to protect a mother and her two young children from the evil Sheriff...and by 'evil' I obviously mean camp as hell. The 'mother' actually turns out to be the sheriff's sister who had used prosthetics and a wig to disguise what is (once again) wrong with that statement....PROSTHETICS.....there is absolutely now way I can justify that one....yes I know Robin was always disguising himself in the tales but it was always things like straw stuffed down his jumper, mud on his face (which I might add is something else missing from this medieval Britain) and a hood....not synthetic substances several hundred years out of date...grrr.

Its a shame really as there was some interesting themes...I like the idea of a turncoat within the midst of the 'outlaw' gang and that there was some actual use of the forest in hiding and making escape from a is tradition. Unfortunately is the production continues with over compensating with the contemporary referencing fans will probably turn off in droves and a season 3 won't see the light of day....and therefore the family drama on a Saturday night will be lost again until the far superior Doctor Who returns.

In terms of Robin Hood...If its a enjoyably delicious, dark, moody and funny show full of swashbuckling action that you're after, then buy the box sets of Robin of Sherwood and watch repeatedly.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Graduation Booking 101

I finally got round to organising my graduation stuff this week, well actually I've been trying to sort it all out for ages but various annoyances meant that I couldn't do it until this week. So, anyway I diligently went online and attempted the 'simple' process to book three tickets...besides me that is (I'm going to forget to go at this rate).....say 'yes' to the buffet and rent to gown, mortar board and colours for the 'big event'.

Simple my arse...after trying for an hour to get past the first page I optioned for the phone number 'in case of problems' shafted passed at least three different people, all giving different answers to 'can I book over the phone?' and finally a nice lady.....who took a whole five minutes to take my money.

£114 later and I'm all booked, suited and ready to go....but now I'm thinking how un-prepared I am...I'm going to have to buy a new outfit since mother says that jeans and my favourite Goonies Tee won't cut it.....also there's the whole walking, possibly up some steps, across a stage, wearing said gown and mortar board, to collect my degree....without tripping and falling on my bum. And then there's posing for photos, those official 'school like' photos taken by a condescending prat who tells you to smile without smiling and has you in a complete unnatural sitting position....Urgh.....and the whole thing takes place in November....cold, wet, windy, squally November...yep, pure genius that'un.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Non-sensical World of Tom Cruise

So, apparently Tom Cruise is building a bunker under his house in Colorado, to survive an attack from aliens at the cost of £5 it possible we can 'Orson Wells' one now and get the silly little man to disappear for a while?

Friday, September 21, 2007

Drum Roll......

Well results are finally in and survey says: Second Class (First Division) aka Upper Second Class Honours degree aka high 2.1. Not quite the 1st I was planning on but after the year I've had I'll take it and run thank you very much. Oh and i did manged a 72% for my dissertation aka the thing which would not I'm feelin' kinda warm and fuzzy inside about that one...I deserve a treat of some sort I think...something chocolate in flavour perhaps.

Then I guess it's back to the job hunting....I can hardly contain my enthusiasm...oh wait, yes I can.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Paddington Marmite

So apparently Paddington Bear is making a comeback to our screens and he's jacking in his trademark marmalade sandwiches for Marmite....well if we're updating an institution then may i suggest that he change the duffle coat and hat for a hoodie, get a bit of bling and toss the shabby looking suitcase for something a little more Yves Saint Lauret.

Stargate: Atlantis Season 4

Officially the new series of Stargate: Atlantis doesn't air until Sep 28th (and that's in the US) unofficially, and very hush, hush with a little bit of oops on the side, is the first two episodes which I have just finished watching.

Absolutely no spoilers from me but it certainly moves thing into the next direction of SGA that's both characters (old and new) and story, so a big thumbs up from me. What was a little weird was that the unofficial copies had no musical soundtrack (hence the unofficial) which was instantly noticeable and very much missed (even though I was kind of humming it in my head as it went along....I guess I may have seen one or two many episodes repeatedly). Still I will be watching them again as and when they air here in the UK....It will certainly be interesting to compare the before and after from my academic position.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Homer the Cow

Dad learned a valuable lesson today....never tickle the nose of a cow with a cold.....especially when your standing right in front of it.

Also meet Homer.....
.....who shortly after this photo was taken belched as only a Homer could.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Angmering Park

Another glorious day and too nice to spend indoors, say sat behind a desk or serving some schmuck double espresso lattes sprinkled with chocolate on the top....nope, far too nice for that. I was wandering through woods and countryside yet again. Angmering woods and park to be precise.

It was a nice enough walk, about 5 miles which took us halfway round the woods and back to the car. Unfortunately there was little wildlife to report. Plenty of squirrels, busy harvesting the conkers from the trees....they now may be a little peeved that their hard work was pinched by the cumbersome giants who noisily trudged through their domain. Also there were plenty of birds fliting about but too quickly for me to identify and generally there were pigeons, rooks and black nothing that unusual.....Oh and dad spotted a dead grass snake when we sat on a hay bale for lunch and then dared me to pick it up....after a little poking with a stick I declined.

After lunch we walked through a field and back into woods along a track which lead back to the car. A pleasant enough walk, very peaceful even with the A27 not too far in the distance.

Oh, and we did happen upon a field with a herd of bloody great cows with bloody great horns. I trudged across brambles and stinging nettles to get a couple of up close and personal pics. I'm sure one was sizing me up and would had charged given the first opportunity, so I hi-tailed it out of the way before they got bored of chewing the grass.

All the good work calorie burning was promptly undone with the craving for a Double Decker on the way home....meh.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I Survived Clapham Woods circa 2007

Finally some decent's only taken all bloody summer. But September has arrived and with it a chance for me to get out and enjoy where I live.

Firstly on Friday dad and I took a wander around the top end of Pagham Harbour and then north across the fields hoping to end up at South Mundham...well that was the plan but we somehow ended up nearer Sidlesham to the west and had to double back to regain some sense of direction. This was with a map and a father who boasts about being a former member of the local boys club who regularly took part in night orienteering exercises over the downs....hmmmm, I'm saying nothing.

So eventually we made our way around the route ending up back at the harbour which is a fantastic place for any bird twitchers out there and for the lazy amongst us there is a hut with a list of all the birds seen at the entrance which is a pleasant gesture.
Friday night and I was off to Clogs' for a DVD night...she provided War of the Worlds and a bucket of KFC and I contributed party rings, marshmallow tea cakes (which are completely droolable), chocolate fingers and a choice selection from my own DVD library.
The verdict on War of the Worlds is could do the stop button as the alien tripod is downed in Boston to alleviate any yelling at a complete implausible story conclusion....seriously Spielberg what were you thinking. Fortunately we finished the night with Heathers which more than makes up for the bad film preceding it.

Saturday, we swung by a local Co-op to pick up picnic food and then caught a bus to High Salvington where we picked up a footpath which leads to the infamous Clapham Woods. Why infamous? well over the years people and dogs who venture into said woods often disappear without a trace....the last being a vicar. This along with Satanic rituals, UFOs and apparitions of a giant bear being associated with the area one would have to wonder why anyone would venture withing several miles of the place. Well it's a well known fact that I have little sense and, to be honest, Chloe isn't much better so we trooped into the woods where 'birds don't sing'.

To be honest I don't think there's much to worry about. There was plenty of wildlife and a very peaceful pasture filled with sheep in which we spent several minutes lazing in the sunshine. We walked all the way through without incident to Clapham Village and the 12th Century church where a helpful old gent provided a little information about the place and in the graveyard I fussed over an adorable ginger cat.

We started back through the woods and diverted back towards town after Clogs' had partaken in the new sport of pheasant chasing....I think they won.
Ending up in Durrington we discovered a fair near our bus stop and wiled away an hour eating candy floss and, in Chloe's case, pooping her pants on an ultra fast wavy slide. (if you look carefully you can see a look of complete and utter terror which I gleefully caught on camera)

We trooped back to her house and attempted to watch Willow in the evening, but we were far too tired and after some girlie chat with her housemates we retired to bed around 11pm. The next day I woke with more aches and pains than I thought possible, which indicated that I am way out of practice.....damn the wet English summer.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Cadbury Advert

Just saw this brillant advert on the telly and thought I'd share....I don't really know why it's great, it just is.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Re-make? Step Away

I have just read that The Goonies, the ultimate childrens' adventure film, is to be re-made....into a cartoon series......What a load of tosh that'll be....this after I read that The Famous Five is also to be re-made with a middle-aged cast who reunite to solve a New Tricks anyone.

For heavens sake how many more classics have to be maimed before TPTB know to leave well alone.

In other news.....what's that noise? that would be the sound of shredding paperwork as I have finally handed in 'the' dissertation...hoorah! I had a Belgium Bun to celebrate, yay me.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Dissertation.....Argh!!!!.....It is the thing which will not die!!!

P.S. Happy Birthday Joshy Washy

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Chocolate Rain

Not sure whether this has been around a while, but it's just a vid I bumped into surfing on YouTube...It's a little repetative and alot random...but, I kinda like it.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Update to My Big List of 'To Do' Stuff

The list will probably balloon to Biblical proportions as I intend to keep adding, due to my addled brains' immensely imaginative (no matter how improbable) process . Who knows, hopefully I will be able to cross some off eventually too.

16. Visit a Cadbury chocolate factory (singing the Oompa Loompa song.....optional)

17. Walk the South Downs way

18. Learn a language...Japanese or Italian

19. Take part in an Archaeological dig

20. Scuba dive a shipwreck in the Caribbean (and find a hoard of golden treasure)

21. See Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in London

22. Write a bloody good pub quiz

23. Take part in a scavenger hunt

24. Eat 5 portions of fruit and veg a day, everyday

25. Learn life saving skills

26. Experience weightlessness

27. Sing either 'Believe it or Not' or 'Maybe Tomorrow' at a Karaoke (theme tunes to The Greatest American Hero & The Littlest Hobo for the uneducated....and Josh)

28. Take singing lessons (preferably before No. 27)

29. Learn to tap dance, line dance, urban dance and body pop (also preferably before No 27 if I'm going to perform it might as well be memorable)

30. Swim with wild dolphins (again)

31. Write up my travel diaries with pictures

32. Learn to play piano or trumpet

To Be Continued......

P.S I had a dream and decided that the 'list' will now be referred to as my 'Jim'll List', adding and (hopefully) carrying out a Jim'll/Jim'll's/Jim'lls'/the odd Jim/ a 'J' day (will have to work on the terminology) as often as possible.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

My To Do LIst

So, there I was watching an all time classic episode of Doctor Who, Doomsday....Daleks & Cybermen the ultimate 'ever-so-slightly' scary ensemble and a top episode which leaves me with a lump in my throat by the end, top musical score, top writing, top ending....but I digress....

So,like I said, there I was watching Doctor Who and I got to thinking...time and space cool would that be, that's something I'd like to do if and when it's possible...I mean where would you want to go and what would you want to do if you could do absolutely anything?

Then I figured, before I become the ultimate time traveller, there is still quite a bit I'd like to do/see round here first. So I thought I start making a, in no particular order, a sample.

1. Go Tornado chasing

2. Climb a tree on a regular basis

3. Write a fantasy/sci fi book

4. Write a fantasy/sci fi script.

5. Milk a Cow

6. Live in Australia

7. Stand up on a surf board.

8. Take an adventure holiday and do all the activities at least once no matter how scary

9. Work in Film/TV as a researcher

10. Take part in a conservation project somewhere in the world, ie other than the UK

11. Ride a horse

12. Take up rock climbing

13. Watch sunrise from the top of Kingley Vale

14. Live on a desert Island and build a working Swiss Family Robinson style tree house

15. Read a book a week

To Be Continued.....

Monday, August 20, 2007

Arctic Expedition: Top Gear Style

Just been watching Top Gear: Polar Special during which team 'Oafish Buffoons' (now there's a term which I should use more often) attempt to travel across the Arctic in a big red 4x4 using sat nav...yes driving to the North Pole...only Clarkson and May would come up with that.

In competition with Richard 'The Hamster' Hammond, taking the traditional dog sled approach, the idea is to see who gets there first and, more to the point, who doesn't get eaten by Polar bears/fall through the ice/ turn into a presenter Popsicle etc, etc

Mightily hearty entertainment is most certainly've got tough cars, utterly amazing scenery, endurance and the kind of trials and tribulations which could only present themselves via the Bean esque Top Gear Team, such as the most tedious game of eye spy ever....eye spy with my little eye something beginning with 'S'.....Snow.....and when fixing a crevasse bridge in below freezing conditions it's probably not the best idea to put a metal nut between your lips for safe keeping Mr Clarkson.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Ruth and Jeeves - 4 week old kittens

Yup I know I'm getting cute kitty'd out, but i don't care...maybe if the rents would get another one I wouldn't have to fill up my blog with other peoples' adaorable balls of fluff

Cats Kittens


First Rule of Fight Club....

It's friday night and I'm in a must watch cute kittens kinda of mood.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Perseid Meteor Shower 2007

So, what were you doing between 10.30pm and 3am last night....laying on a dew ridden grassy hill being dive bombed by bats whilst staring skyward watching for pieces of rock desintergrate at great speed in the earths atmosphere? me then.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Family Fun Day

Well I had oodles of fun earlier that yesterday.

Chloe had invited me to a family fun day which had been organised by her work place...I was to be her 'child' for the afternoon. It was all very jolly; ham sarnies, fruit, pastry bites, cubed cheese, cheese straws, Pom Bear crisps, skips and the most delectable chocolate iced cup cakes (of which I had several...I'm hoping the plum and handful of grapes I also had will counteract them).

For entertainment there was music via dodgy single speaker, Frisbee, footie and flailing on the knock off balance beam...and also bouncing, balancing and bloody awful (on my part) agility on various inflatables.

The favourite of mine, which was very Chegger's Plays Pop (with a little less pop and, thankfully, a lot less Cheggers) was the inflatable assault course. Things like this were just not around in my deprived 80's childhood and so I flung myself (quite literally) into the fray.

You start with a hole which I dived through only to get stuck between the based of that and the small hill which you have to dive dive over was more a belly flop....landing very ungainly at the base of the taller hill.....most unladylike climbing with aid of a knotted rope grants me the top vantage point and slide down the canvas....a tumble through a second hole smashes my face into the side of the 'tunnel'....I dive though the tunnel and land in a very undignified and flailing lump on the bouncy finish, shortly followed by an uncontrollable bouncy roll off the safe zone and onto hard grass.

After the humiliation, twisted limbs, possible flashing of knickers and a canvas burn in a place you would really rather not have one, a six year old sails through said course with the ease and agility of a Olympic gymnast. (only to take a nasty tumble over a leg which spasmed at the exact moment he happened to walk past after his commendable performance.)

My inner moppet not one to be out done by an actual moppet, I persevered, gaining less in speed, but more in the end of five hours, with a twisted ankle, rope burn and a very bad hair day, I was exiting the tunnel with a near perfect commando roll.

In your face cocky little g....insert appropriate description on comment page.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Things That Go Bump

It is widely known that I am definitely a nocturnal person. I enjoy the absolute peace and quiet associated with the twilight hours and can ponder the meaning of life to my hearts content without possibility of interruption...apart from perhaps the laboured breathing/snorting/foghorn like sound emanating from my fathers nostrils and throat across the hall, around a corner and through two closed doors.

So it was that last night I had enjoyed immensely the film Mirrormask...a wonderfully visual fantasy adventure which mixes some great British talent with Jim Henson productions. Followed by a little light reading; Torchwood: Border Prince and starting for the second time Wilbur Smith's Warlock.

In retrospect the three pieces of dark chocolate Toblerone had been a mistake, even though ingested at 9:30pm it was still making my heart race after 1am (yes, I know I'm turning into my mother). Still I settled into a fantasy inspired dreamy sleep shortly after curled up hugging Barnaby the bear and Bertie the duck.

It is not unusual for me to be disturbed by the local wildlife outside, especially in the summer month (s) and I will often watch the foxes playing underneath my window. So at 3am (ish) and upon hearing a scratching sound I sat up and searched the area outside for the little scamps. I was surprised at not being able to locate the critters, instead I searched for hedgehog, mice or even a rabbit has been known in the area.....nothing, so I gave up and settle back to sleep. My head had just hit the pillow when the scratching sound came through again. Frustrated I was determined to find the cause, keeping still I listened intently and realised that the sound was coming from inside my room.

Being the brave and inquisitive soul that I am I switched on my lamp and the light fell upon the biggest, hairiest and most grotesque looking spider I have ever seen, having more than a little trouble walking across the coving on the far side of my room. Now I'm not aracnophobic, but this huge creature stilled and I became convinced it was eyeing me (times...god knows how many) up for a midnight snack.

At this point I did what any person in my position would do...I called upon good old dad to eradicate the problem. He sent 'Arnie' on a white water themed holiday and for the next hour I continued with my Wilbur Smith adventure, just in case any siblings, children or extending family came looking for revenge.

Below, for those who dare, is an actual size pic of what dared into my room, so big that I had mistaken the sound it made for a fox!

Heeby Jeebes Alert......

And this sucker was still floating around the bowl the next morning...

Monday, August 06, 2007

FYI I Heart the New Forest

This is where I was supposed to go on my Birthday, but because I'm fussy I wanted a cloudless day and not a chance of rain. So We went on Saturday instead. OK, so we sat in two huge traffic jams on the way, but such is life.

The rents and I stopped at the Owl and Otter centre ( ) first, which should really be renamed Owl, Otter and Miscellaneous Animals Centre due to the facts that's there's all sorts of things there to keep you amused. The otters were cute and splish splashing around to their hearts content, the owls were sleeping mostly (well they are night birds), but there was also a lovely area full of deer which were happily roaming around the whole enclosure with not a care for the humanoid invaders, except for the odd sniff of curiosity/disgust.

I found myself on a mission at this point as it was clear these animals were as tame as tame and I wanted to pet one before leaving. They did have a 'not human admittance' area but one little charmer was close enough to the fence to obliged my fancy and so, along with cats, dogs, rabbits, Kangaroos, Dusky dolphins and Killer Whales, I can add them to my 'have petted' check list.

We stopped for lunch in a lovely little area of woodland with the pre-prepared picnic/three course meal, which mother had sorted which was all very civilised, complete with proper plates, knives and forks and salt and pepper shakers, bless my mother. I refused the chair which father had bought along and choose to 'rough' it on a nearby log (it is the woods after all).

We took a couple of walks to burn off the eats, mother choosing to sit out the latter one, which as usual dad and I took a couple of wrong turns and walked further than we meant to. Before returning to the car, after taking an hour for a 20 minute walk (and this with a map) I saw a wild deer, while fathers was seemingly fascinated with a tall tree and missed it.

I was reasonably pooped when we returned home, after another couple of traffic jams (damn these people getting in my way, and was asleep by 10.30pm. (anyone can tell you that this is virtually unheard of).

Below is a mixture of the best of photos from Saturday's excursion: