Monday, May 19, 2008

I Have the Best Job in the World......read title with extra sarcasm

Right, as you probably have gathered I have started a new job, a week and a half in now, and therefore I may have the desire to rant...we'll forget the 'acme' throbbing feet and spine which feels like that of an arthritic contortionist....for now.....no today I would like to dedicate my blog to the people who seem to leave their brain at the door when they come into the shop....and in some cases I'm not convinced they had one before they crossed the threshold.

Exhibit A - Coming in to buy a bottle of whiskey 5 minutes before closing on a Friday night and paying with a carrier bag full of pennies and two pence pieces is not going to endear you to either the staff who've been on their feet all day or the poor sod in the queue behind who came in for a pint of milk with the correct change.

2. - As a 'representative' of the store I work in I am obligated to ask certain questions...ie would you like a bag/cash back, do you have a loyalty card etc...I would appreciate that your (ie the customer) facial expression was a little something more than 'blank' and a little less than 'your words insulted my grandmother'....Oh, and answering the question 'would you like the receipt?' may seem like a challenge, but in reality is actually easier to answer than, say, working out PI to the thirteenth decimal place.

iii - Since there are a gazillion different brands of cigarettes...as well as packs coming in 10's 20's 40's menthol, smooth, king and superking and are all similar colours (and I'm a non-smoker so haven't a bloody clue anyway) speak up, speak clearly and please don't attempt any world records in speed talking because 'twentylambertnbultlersuperkingmentholblue' or 'p'ketofs'imfil'ers, rizz'ers and a b'gofgol'envirg'a' is going to leave me confuzzled, flustered and 100% likely to chuck your way the first packet which comes to hand....your preferred brand be damned.

And D - When I politely decline my services at the till as I'm heading off for a break...saying 'Sorry, could you go to the tills round the corner'...I mean the tills contained within the store we're currently situated in, not the ones in the shop next door.....can I get a bucket full of 'doh' for the gent who did just that at the weekend.

Urgh...Okay, that's me ranted out for the time being, though I'm sure there will be much more material soon....on the plus side, today I served a positively lovely (and by 'lovely' I mean drop dead gorgeous) young man (whom I'm hoping is a regular) who can come through my till any which way he likes!

2 comments:

Firefly mom said...

Look on the bright side of your new employment - you will have SO MUCH to blog about ;D

As for the guy buying whiskey with change - I can remember doing that to purchase cigarettes (way back in the day when I smoked). After reading your post, I feel I should send my apologies to the poor people behind the counter.

I look forward to further tales from the trenches. In the meantime, I shall do my part by treating all staff with the courtesy and respect that they deserve. Except the ones who my 12 y/o has to correct when they're trying to give change. They should be flogged.

P.S. My dear hubby visited your blog for the first time and laughed so hard he nearly shot tea out his nose. So now there's two of us in this house who are banned from drinking beverages whilst reading your blog.

Emma said...

I have worked with many a teenager who becomes ridiculously confuzzled when the computer breaks and...shock horror...they have to work out the change in their head.

Trenches....surely you're the one in trenches currently...good luck with that by the way.

And, aww....bless your hubby, perhaps my blog should come with a warning 'mastication and beverage consumption is not recommended for the duration of the persual of the following content'....may my hum-drum life continue to educate and titillate.