Thursday, January 26, 2012

Lets Get Physical

News Flash...Exercise is good for you...apparently.  I tend to disagree, usually soon after I have slogged my way through a 2 hour session at the gym.  I feel neither healthy nor particularly fit looking, as the sweat runs down my face and back, plastering my fringe to my face with a constant need to sort out a wedgie and pulling some super unattractive faces as I try to keep up with my routine.  The girl next to me is running faster, puffing far less, glowing instead of sweating and doesn't have a hair out of place.  More than once I have imagined her tripping on a shoelace and being flung halfway across the gym, does that make me an evil person?

I push on like the trooper that I am though, as I'm aware of the many benefits and, in my particular case, keeping me borderline sane for a few times a week from a chemical high (though I've heard a similar thing can be achieved from gratuitous consumption of chocolate, something I'm not objecting too per-se, but am not keen on the other side affects of this)

I have seen a change since I started this form of torture...dropped two dress sizes, lost over 2 and a half stone, can once again sit on my haunches when kneeling (a skill not to be sniffed at and is alas neglected to be appreciated after the age of 10) much better balance, calves that have a shape which much less resemble a tree trunk and am regularly amused by my fellow patrons some of which seem to think they are on display at Venice Beach rather than Bognor Regis....still waiting for someone to be slung across the room from being overly ambitious on the running machine, which is most disappointing as according to You've Been Framed it is an extremely regular occurance.

I do struggle though, it's tough to continue to at pace when you're inner moppet is desperately encouraging you to belt out tunes from Glee as they come on my iPod and then there's the tunes which are a regular staple at I diligently carry on with the cross trainer or be the only person in the gym cracking on with a flawless Swamp Thing routine? it's a conundrum.

Today I nearly incurred a nasty injury on the Pectoral machine, there I was halfway through my reps, desperately trying to not to pull too many strange faces, when a chap started doing weights opposite me.  Not an uncommon occurrence, except for the fact that this chap was the spitting image of actor/stuntman and convention favourite Dan Payne.  I was puzzling over his uncanny resemblance when the fella started doing some stretches, lunges and lots of.....bending, during one very flexible maneuver I nearly popped my shoulder!

For those not in the know, this is Dan Payne doing what he does best:

Ack, well at least there's one more reason to keep up with this gym gumpf...I'm still waiting for my six pack to come through, it's currently more of a large one pack, my buns are yet to feel like anything remotely like steel and I'm pretty sure one day I will expire on the rowing machine, though if that happens mayhap 'looks like Dan Payne' will be able to assist ;-)

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