Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Are You Sitting Comfortably....

Once upon a time in a land far, far away the heavens unexpectedly opened and, in a mass of light and thunder, delivered unto this world an enigma of talent, charisma and' the funny' wrapped in human form and speaking in the tone of Canadian. This is the only possible explanation for the whirlwind which passed through Heathrow earlier this month...two other similar sightings have occurred thus far in recent years...which left witnesses in a slightly befuddled stated, with an inability to frown and the urge to burst into fits of giggles for at least a week after exposure...candid shots have since shown up on various internet sites and I strongly urge you should you see the following do not....I not feed him any sugar based substances or those high in e-numbers....

This infamous being answers to the name of Chuck Campbell

A byproduct of Ryan Robbins being ill and unable to attend Haven1 meant a lucky opening for everyones favourite technician from Stargate: Atlantis and the equally endearing Two-Faced Guy off of Sanctuary and because Chuck is the pleasant surprise which keeps on giving he also took on the role of MC for the entire weekend...This meant alotta Chuck, of which I (and everyone in attendance) was not complaining.

On the second day of the convention Chuck took it upon himself to introduce the audience to a game in which he once partook at a party...this involved volunteers (L-R Jane, Fuchia and Steph) answering the following simple questions (feel free to join in) 1. name you three favourite living things, 2. what would you do if you were confronted with a never ending wall? and 3. if you could drink only one drink for the rest of your life what would it be and why?

These were Jane's answers: Three favourite living things - Daniel Craig, because he's gorgeous (I hear that), The Ocean - because Daniel Craig's coming out of in 'those' trunks scene, and Chris Judge - because he's big...Jane would swear at the wall and walk away and an everlasting southern comfort with lemonade and lime.

Steph went with Chris Heyerdahl - because he's cuddly (he really is for a Wraith), Chuck Campbell - because he's funny, Robin Dunne - because he drops his pants, she would run alongside the wall and finally Sambooka because it burns on the way down.

Now Fuchia would have come up with something deep and profound, had young Phillipa not done some Jeff Dunham type activity and 'helped' with her answers ending up with a vibrating turkey baster - because it's tingly, AA batteries (can't remember why) and handcuffs because they help with her job. 'What am I doing in China' was her answer to the never ending wall and finally a cold pint of Guinness 'just hands baby, just the hands' (yep no idea either but it's Fuchia)

So with all the questions answered Chuck took it upon himself to enlighten the class as to the 'secret' meaning behind the quiz (and feel free to go back and read the answers of the fast becoming embarrassed volunteers and also Robin's answer from my previous post)....the first living thing is how you see yourself, the second is how others say they see you and the third is how people actually see you....Oh, Fuchia, poor Fuchia....The whole how you react when faced by a bloomin' great wall is how you look at death and finally the whole favourite drink thing is how you regard sex (obviously)...During this whole session which I have named 'Drinking Games with Chuck Campbell' the guffawing was infectious and my ribs were still aching several days later...especially as Chuck added that during the party he had attended one woman had answered the drink question with 'Single malt as it reminds me of my father' and another person said 'urine, because I've never tried it before' (can I just say 'ewwww')

So what other nuggets of pure gold did Chuck wish to impart...He once had a friend who gave up playing Ice Hockey as he found it 'too slippery'....he lost a staring competition with a fish in a tank at the hotel....Um......moving swiftly on.....he likes Turtles...the candy version not the animal version...and became quite the fan of McVities chocolate Hob-Nob biscuit over the weekend, though I'm thinking it was a little more with the being called a 'Hob-Nob' and a little less with the malty/oaty/chocolately goodness....due to Chuck's in touchness with his inner moppet ;-)

If imparted with the task of stealing an Elephant (I think I speak for everyone when I say...huh?) he would choose to carry out the mission under cover of darkness, luring the mammal away with peanuts and then concealing the beast within the confines of an airport....because 'who would think to look for an Elephant at an airport'....who indeed, there is a scary amount of logic in the mostly non-sensical scenario.

Now, at some point a chili was presented to Chuck, apparently concerning some backstage shenanigans which then became the 'Chuck Chili Challenge'

This was the result

In the following few minutes of discussion Chuck first said it wasn't too bad, then accepted a banana that someone offered when the heat kicked in, almost drank some water before the entire audience yelled at him not too (water+ red hot chili= baaaad) then finally he was presented with a glass of milk which apparently hit the spot and quelled the 'mouth of fire' poor Chuck was experiencing...

Chuck was all smiles when I got my photo shoot...I know I shouldn't have favourites but it's Chuck and he gives the best hugs :D

That's all for now...I still have a little more to impart...fairly-well until then

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