I have come to the conclusion that weather people are a lying bunch of bastards....this week the weather has been on top form...clear blue skies, warm with a coastal breeze (ok so it was sometimes a strong coastal breeze).....and of course I've been inside a shop....working my butt off....without air conditioning for the most part.....Thursday is my day off (since I work Saturdays) and from Wednesday the weather forecasters said heavy rain was heading our way....Wednesday came and it was a lovely sunny day......due to people quitting, people being fired, people on sick leave and people on holiday, we are a tad short staffed at work at present and so when Rich asked me if I could work on Thursday....and me knowing that the forecast for Thursday was 'heavy rain'......I reluctantly agreed, since I would probably being doing 'owt anyway.....1pm-10pm were my hours and I spent them pondering all the things I could have been doing on the warm, clear and sunny day it turned out to be......Friday and Saturday were again forecast as rainy days and were again sunny....Today....Sunday....was forecast as a rainy day.....and indeed is a rainy day.....bah humbug!
Right rant over....whilst reading a daily rag this week I came across a story which suggested scientists have discovered that the common-a-garden Watermelon has properties similar to that of the fertility drug Viagra when eaten every day....is it then mere coincidence that the sales of the large juicy fruit have tripled this week?......I think not.
And while we're on the subject of customers, let me share a particularly gooey encounter......which I have entitled 'Cotton-top Gent With Drippy Nose'......'Hello' (my god, that's a big dew drop of snot hanging from the end of his nose....don't look at the nose....concentrate on packing the shopping).....'do you have a Co-op card?'.....Gent shakes his head, the globule swings....(ignore the nose.....and for god's sake don't laugh).....'would you like the receipt?'....shakes head, glob swings, strangely in slow motion, and almost detaches.....(ignore the nose....don't laugh....bite lip)....I guesstimate just how long before glob of drippy snot either a.) looses it's fight with gravity b.) ascends back from whence it came or c.) the gent in question sees fit to finally assert the use of a hankie....the answer my friends....d.) the drippy glob stands firm (so to speak) and departs the shop with its owner to pay visit with other sales assistants, take in the scenery and quite possibly end its days in the lap of an unsuspecting cotton-top on the bus ride home......it's a ponderance.
I leave you with the continuing saga of the ever-so-handsome green-eyed fella which.....er.....continued on Monday. At the end of a particularly dismal and difficult day he swooped in all sexy lookin' and emitted a smile which dang near had me all fainty on the floor.....putting my sudden flusteredness down to the busted air-con I fluttered my eyes, put on my sexy voice and demonstrated my agile scanning abilities....alas the offer of a drink remains allusive.