Chevron 7.4: Group Talks

Group guest talks are always good for a laugh, mainly due to the fact that they usually desecend into a certain amount of chaos, such are the larger than life personalities on the stage.  It's a chance for the more unusual, fun and sometimes down right bizarre questions to be asked.  It's a little tough keeping up with the spontaneous waffle which followed, but I tried my best to make notes of the highlights

A fairly regular question of the guests previous job gained quite the ecclectic mix of answers: circus performer from Ryan, bar tender from Brian, putting lipstick on large lipped, post op, women from Suanne (huh?), computer programmer from, none other than, David....now I just wrote the word 'sausage' for Sharon which had a little more to do with her working in a factory and a little less with..well, whatever you're thinking...and Bam Bam, well he 'bought a hair salon at 19' and then 'became a corrections officer' prompting several 'whaaat?' reactions from fellow guests as well as much laughter from the audience 'So, you were done with cutting peoples hair and decided to be a correctional officer?' Ryan said in some confuzzlement. David, having trouble processing the new information from Bam Bam's past, just turned to him and said 'you cut people's hair?...you...cut people's hair'...hehe...cos you know...it's Bam Bam.

In being asked a question about which emotions are difficult to portray Ryan quipped 'Joy, when Bam Bam is hurt', though I'm guessing that was one not so difficult to portray (awwws, for Bam Bam) followed by 'random laughter' as it's apparently tough to laugh on queue....especially after the double digitied take I shouldn't wonder.  Sharon said 'Acting drunk' prompting a surprised 'really?' from Suanne...I'm guessing a rather method approach is adopted by some people in the room.  David said he only has 'four looks' (he didn't give further detail, so I'll leave that for you to figure out the four....I suggest one is panic) he followed his answer with 'being quiet' as the most difficult thing to do.  Brain said generally 'intense scenes were easier than the lighter scenes' and Suanne answered that 'being serious with a bad script' was a tad on the tough side.

Fears was next up and understandably Ryan went with 'death....because your dead', Sharon had a different approach saying that she 'doesn't like standing near the edge of a cliff' at which point I'm guessing most people thought she was going with a fear of heights...there you would be wrong my friend, the reason young Sharon doesn't like the cliff's edge is that she finds it hard to fight the urge to push people off.  At this point in proceedings the rest of the guest shared a slight look of incredulous-ness and Brain, who'd been in the seat next to Sharon, made a bolt for the door.

Bringing things back on track and after returning to his chair, Brain said he's not so keen on flying...suddenly Sharon piped up with a story about their flight to the UK and particularly the pilot, before she could complete the tale Bam Bam cut in and a sort of verbal tet-a-tet erupted between the two, much like when small children are desperate to be the first to tell a parent something exciting...'Our pilot was called Captain Kirk' they eventually blurted simulatneously....which is actually pretty darn cool.

David has a fear of spiders and is in the process of teaching his son not to be scared of spiders, the flaw in his plan is that he finds himself balking at the first sign of movement from the arachnids.  Sharon  is not so fond of birds which she described as 'big, flappy....urgh'...Ryan kindly interjected with ' Pigeons are flying rats' earning an eyeroll from Bam Bam 'Yeah, they're terribly dangerous'....and Bam Bam's greatest fear 'me, disappearing'...natch.

Onto weird auditions, since it's a right of passage for actors to have some kind of cringeworthy experience (Kavan Smith has a doozy, which he kindly shared at Pegasus 4)...Ryan's was while audtioning for a car advert at he was encourage to 'make love to the car', Sharon took part in an audition for a jean commercial where each person was asked to put on the jeans and bend over...Bam Bam quipped 'that's how Joe Flanigan got cast'...hahahaha....ahem, moving on, Suanne Braun was at an audition with Steven Segal and mentally made the connection that he 'looked like my cat....big body...itty bitty head' and had to fight off a fit of giggles which, acting guru, Segal mistook for intensity.  And, while David was at an audition for CSI he was mid flow when a mobile started to ring, he got a little grumpy (David? grumpy?...surely not) with the folk in the room, before realising it was actually his phone that was ringing.  In an attempt to switch it off, in a panic, he instead answered the call and put it on speaker. Jane's voice asked 'Hello darling, how's it going?'....'Um...not very well' ...and no, he didn't get the part.

If they had to pick a reality TV show to appear on it would be:  I'm a Celebrity for Brian so he could 'hang out with Lou', Bam Bam thinks all reality TV 'is garbage' which gained a mighty cheer from much of the audience.  Sharon Taylor would go on the Bachelor to 'talk some sense in those women'.  Ryan likes the idea of appearing on Celebrity Boxing while David would go on Survivor Man but would do it really badly 'How to survive freezing water...oh, he didn't'.

Brain nearly let out a spoiler for SG:U when asked about which Stargate planet they would like to be stranded on saying that they 'go to paradise' in a future episode and turned to Bam Bam asking if he could tell 'has it aired yet?' Bam Bam queried 'no' Brain answered 'then you can't tell' spoil sport, Bam Bam.  Bam Bam had a think, started to answer then realized he was confused with Star Trek.  Sharon Taylor 'One with a Medieval village...oh, wait that's all of them' demonstrating that Sharon had figured out the Stargate writers cunning plan.  David would go to the puppet planet as he liked the idea of a 'puppet McKay'.  Now Ryan said something along the lines of going to a 'warm planet, with all of you' (meaning the audience) and I can't remember what then led to the guy getting out of his chair, crossing the stage and trying to go through the Stargate on the Chevron poster behind him...it was however very funny indeed.

There were a couple of questions which were your typical pappy convention question...something like 'what three foods would you have at a party?' and 'who would you invite to a party?'...and a few others which sounded like dating agency questions at which David quipped 'are these the Twilight convention questions'....very probably David.  I was beginning to suspect that the question's I had taken the time to e-mail pre the con, as per requested by the organisers, had disappeared into Stargate limbo and also there must've been many 'Sarah's' and 'Dan's' in the audience, as most of the questions appeared to be coming from them....Hmmmm.

Anyhoo, I managed to have a word with the guy in control of the mike and just before the talk wrapped up he headed over.  So, with all ears and eyes pointed in my direction I asked the final question of the event, the one which I'd been waiting the whole convention to ask:

'How would you survive a Zombie attack?'

It's fair to say there was a certain amount of laughter and an expression of 'Huh?' on the faces of the guests, but they dutifully answered anyway.  Ryan was first to respond wth 'Hide behind Bam Bam' leading into a 'Who would I hide behind?' from the man himself. David decided he would become the 'Zombie King' and Sharon added that 'if you can't eat 'em join 'em'...If I recall correctly Brain stated he would sing 'Don't Stop Believing' at them, 'badly' and then Bam Bam started to rattle of the rules of surviving a Zombie attack (off of Zombieland the movie) including 'Cardio, travel in a group, check the back seat, double tap....' and 'seatbelts' which was an assist shouted by Tina and Philippa in the crowd as Bam Bam stalled...Now while all this is going on I was still making blog notes, which was seen by Bam Bam.  'Are you writing this down?' he asked, somewhat incredulously, before as quick as you like David said 'Do you have a Zombie problem in your town?'....close David, very close....visit Bognor some time and see for yourself.  I just nodded and laughed as Bam Bam thanked me for the 'great and very relevant question'...And yes there was a tone which I believe may have been sarcasm attached to the statement.

And there wrapped the final guest talk and indeed the convention...but wait...there's more....To Be Concluded...