Weird News

Saw this gem in the news today and thought I'd share with the group:

A judge in America took an unorthodox approach to punishing three men convicted of soliciting sex – he sentenced them to take turns standing outside the court house wearing a bright yellow chicken costume.

While standing in the chicken costumes outside the court in Painesville, Ohio, the three men must also carry a sign saying 'No Chicken Ranch in Painesville'.

This is, apparently, a reference to the World Famous Chicken Ranch, a notorious whorehouse in Nevada, where prostitution and brothels are allowed to operate under a legal framework.

Apparently another felon who called a cop a pig was punished by standing on a street corner with a pig and a sign which read 'this is not a police officer'. Genius, wish we could do that kind of thing here to say the little darlings who though it would be a fantastic idea to pee into the only water source in a town in the flooded Gloucestershire....hmm, what would be apt punishment there I wonder? answers on a postcard.

Mulling Through

Sometimes feeling the way I do and the way I respond to certain things can be a right downer and completely bloody annoying. I've spent a few blue days recently, mainly because I'm missing my flatmates terribly and and still in limbo over certain results. Not to mention the completely crap excuse for a summer which is currently patronising me with episodes of sunny weather mixed with high winds and a touch of showery/thundery rain....bah humbug.

Oh, to get away to the sunny and hot beaches of Queensland or the hungry bustle of New York City....hell I'd even settle fora week in Cornwall at the moment, as long as the sun kept smiling. But alas not a hope in hell of any of the options at the mo.

Not all doom and gloom however, I did take a trip to the cinema to watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix the other night, it looks fantastic, very angsty, very dark and even though I knew what would happen at the end there was still a lump in my throat when Sirius died.....sniff.

Apparently the government have decided, in their wisdom, that I can have some pocket money until I gain satisfactory employment (whoop-de-doo) so the job hunting continues and I even sent off a couple of applications squeezed in during a break of my busy schedule of television watching and Internet surfing....how good am I!

Here's to Stuff

I am a firm believer in the importance of 'stuff....you can do so much with 'stuff' without having to spend ridiculous amounts of energy explaining yourself.

For example, today I spent my time dreaming about stuff, watching the Loose Women debate stuff, reading stuff in the daily newspaper, watch and reading Robin Hood stuff for my dissertation stuff (which is still in need of some quality researching of academic stuff so I can write stuff), I also ate stuff, drank non alcoholic fruit stuff, chatted with the rents about stuff and am currently relaxing in my room watching quality American drama stuff on the television while I converse my stuff filled day to the masses, which I know you all feel very privileged indeed.

Drunk Animals

Aww, bless those wonderful people at Disney who manage to highlight the problems of binge drinking in the animal kingdom.

I especially like the morning after monkey....we've all been there.

Pinch Punch

This is now officially a non smoking zone...Ally that means you have to stub out the fag whilst reading my blog from now on...go on then.....I can still smell it....thank you.

So the rents are back from their hols in Suffolk and they brought me chocolates, oh how I love chocolates...their Thorton's to....ok so we have a Thorton's in Bognor, but somehow these Thorton's choccies are extra special.

Oooo, last in the series of Doctor Who last night and boy was it a corker or what...Captain Jack....Face of Boe....didn't see that one coming. Loved the growing up of Martha....commando Martha in fact, John Simm was excellent as the Master (the dance routine at the beginning was particularly Baz Luhrman inspired and bloody brilliant). Did I get the Saxon links during the series? Did I 'eck, Russell T makes it all a bit too subliminal in my book....I guess I'll just have to work a little harder next series.

Particularly interested in how the Christmas special will turn out...Titanic, huh....well I guess it had to happen sometime. By the by the Doctors' exclamation of What? thrice in the closing moments is the same way they ended the last series....a bit of trivia there for the dedicated.

End of an Era

Well, three years at Uni....bugger me, where did that go? in a blur of assignments, lectures and seminars that's where. Not that it was all work of course I had some fun moments too...mainly in the last two years at Mercury Point....with the best flatmates in the world.

Yes, it's sad but it's true....Club Mercury is no more, the club has disbanded, the flat is now empty....I am indeed an ex-Southamptoner (?) The mates are now spread far and wide; Bournemouth, Cornwall, Wales, N. Ireland, Winchester and lil' ol me on Bognor Regis.

And is really is just me. The rents have buggered off to Suffolk for the week leaving me on me tod. Still, this had it's advantages.....I took a shower at 1am this morning, I haven't brushed my hair in two days, I took a pee with the bathroom door open so I could listen to Stargate SG:1 on the TV and I had choc mint ice cream for my dinner tonight....yep, I'm a rebel and I'm running wild...watch this space!

Bon Jovi on The Graham Norton Show

Well, the gang and I took a little trip to London to watch Graham Norton being filmed. The show was completely hilarious especially when Ali was picked on as the loudest screamer in the audience. (front left to right as Graham makes his way to Ali....Megan and her cheap flip flops, Me in a, ever-so, lovely Rainbow Brite Tee, Alison and the 'Gobby' 'ten foot' one we refer to as Ali)

And Yes it was little innocent Megan chucking her knickers at Jon Bon Jovi...they nearly hit Graham Norton in the face and were then picked up by Jon.

Too Funny!!!

Gangsta Paradise

Cor Blimey, it all kicked off last night round my way. I'm certainly the last to know about things....Basically a huge brawl broke out downstairs at the front of the building. Two gangs (probably drug related) had a go at each other and one bloke got beaten up with a crow bar, someone else pulled a gun and fired off some shots (though apparently they were blanks) and then ran off. He was chased down and stabbed nearby. (both guys are recovering in hospital). The police showed up, arrested were made and a search took place for the gun....all very C.S.I.

The gang members are apparently spread out amongst all blocks of MP and are mostly from London...It's nice to see that they left that life behind to concentrate on making something better of themselves at uni....the funniest thing is that one of the guys involved is studying Law!

Hey-ho, I'm out of here in a few days now....Back to Bognor Regis just in time for the influx of tourist from the capital....joy.

Blink

So, did anyone notice something missing from tonight's Doctor Who...no? Neither did I, even though the Doctor and Martha were but fleeting in appearance, the episode has probably become one of my all time favourites.

All the essential elements were there: great acting, strong story, funny dialogue and truly 'soil your pants' scary monsters. What a fantastic concept; they are statues, they move when your not looking...so don't blink!

And just in case you were wondering, this applies to all statues...everywhere...behind you....be afraid!

Thundercats, Ho!

Apparently Thundercats are up for revival. Is this postmodern version however Waner Bros have decided that a live action adaptation is the way to go.....this could go terribly wrong. Are the actors going to be made up to look like cats or are they going to drop that aspect altogether....in which case wouldn't it just be Thunder?

Still, it will be interesting to see who they decide to cast, my suggestions: Lion-O; Heath Ledger (A Knights Tale), Panthro; Micheal Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile), Tygra; Shane West (ER), Cheetara; Uma Thurman (Kill Bill), WileyKat; Rupert Grint (Harry Potter), WileyKit; Hayden Panettiere (Heroes), Ben Gali; Sean Connery, Mumm-Ra; Edward James Olmos (Battlestar Glactica, new series) and, finally, Snarf; Jack Black.

Off the top of my head that is.

Excitable Cows and Wiggly Trees

After spending a ultimately lazy day in the garden yesterday enjoying the sunshine I began to feel a tad on the energetic side.

Dad had plans to go cockling at Dell Quay early evening and suggested that I go along. Now, I remember cockling....wading out into a fetid smelling bog of a harbour at low tide, reaching into ice cold shallows to find shells which contain small slug like creatures which are apparently edible....I also remember that these same fetid shallows claimed at least one of my favourite wellington boots somewhen in the eighties. I had no plans to relive this particularly fun sounding past time and instead choose to wander the local coastal paths.

There were two choices...north from Dell Quay to Fishbourne or south to Chichester Marina. I began north. The path followed the river and occasionally crossed through fields in which cows were minding their own business chewing the cud, sleeping and other unprintable activities. Giving the herd a wide birth I contiuned on upstream.

Shortly thereafter I happened upon an area of braken which was a hive of activity for local bunnies, feasting on the short cut grass. Naturally they took one look at me and scarpered. Figuring they'd be back I planted my bum and contemplated the age old questions such as: what kind of an animal is Goofy? and what superhero name should I take? Time passed, a few bunnies made brief appearences, but were soon chased off by insane blood thirsty hounds (FYI I'm thinking cow/dog hybrid and am leaning towards Stupendously Luscious Ultra Transmodizoid)

Heading back to Dell Quay I, once again, had to pass through the field of cows....field 1 was passed through without a care, however, upon entering the next field which had been cowless on my first visit I suddenly realised that my exit had been blocked and I was going to have to walk very close indeed....It was at this point that I considered that my choice of a bright red t-shirt was had its drawbacks.

I managed to not poo my pants and made it through the herd and was soon behid the safe haven of the gate....even though while posing for a picture one overly friendly cow decided that my Rainbow Brite top was completely lickable....ewwww!

The rest of my walk was uneventful...though on my way down to Chi Marina I came across a wood full of wiggly trees, what's the crack with wiggly trees?

Dooby Duck's Duck Truck

ohhh, the memories...mixing pop music wil cute 'lil dancing puppets...television gold!

Sneezing Panda

Hours of fun this video....make sure you have the sound on.

I'm a Superhero....I'm am

Your Score: Peter Petrelli

You scored 50 Idealism, 58 Nonconformity, 29 Nerdiness

Do you ever... get the feeling that you were meant to do something extraordinary?Congratulations, you're Peter Petrelli! You are a compassionate, idealistic person, which is great. You're searching for your identity and purpose in life, and you have a strong desire to be special, and do something great for the world. You're a bit on the emo side, but you have the best of intentions. Your best quality: Empathy Your worst quality: EMO

Link: The Heroes Personality Test written by freedomdegrees on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

My Day Out in London

This is actually an entry for last Monday, as I have been, oh so, terribly busy in the library this week studying hard for my last essay.....honest guvnor.

Anyhoo, a while back Megan had got hold of free tickets to a recording of the New Paul O'Grady show, which is filmed up in London. We originally in the pre-recorded show filmed at midday but then we got bumped to the live show filmed at 5pm. This was good for a couple of reasons a.) it meant we could explore London for a while before going to the studio and b.) we didn't have to get up at some ungodly hour, for example 9am, to catch the train.


After much discussion of places to visit, it was decided to find Pollock's Toy Museum. The museum is contained within two buildings one dating back to the 17th Century and has a wonderful collection of dolls, play theatres, trains, puppets, board games and various toy related items....even the unbelievably un-pc Gollywog doll (if you don't know ask your parents).

My favourite area had to be the one filled with the old mechanical tin toys, hours of fun and no need for batteries. Another was an upper room of the house (which had incredibly low ceilings) which contained a huge collection of dolls from all eras and all over the world. This room was also just a tad creepy.....must be all the glass eyes just staring at you and the fixed smiles and the one doll (which Meg pointed out) had blond hair and brown eyebrows...you just know after the lights go out that one in particular would try to kill you.

We still had a couple of hours to kill before needing to be at the studio and as we were a short walk from the British museum we headed there. Now this place is amazing and certainly needs much more time dedicated to it than we had. We checked out the Egyptian display which houses the Rosetta stone (basically a dictionary for Hieroglyphics) and a few mummies. I also took much glee explaining the process of mummification to Megan who nothing of the pulling brains out of the nostrils thing.

Time ticked by rapidly and we soon for ourselves out front of the television studios...that's the BBC television studios...that is mecca for Emma. Now don't be fooled by the 'Priority' sticker which is shown on the ticket. As we arrived there was quite the queue and we had thought our ticket meant we skipped to the front, we learned however that everyone is this particular queue also had 'priority' tickets and were all in front of us.....so we joined the queue (it is what us Britons do best after all).

We had been standing in the queue for only a matter of minutes when I noticed a couple of young blokes crossing the road next to us, one of them happened to turn his head in our direction and I recognised him to be Dom from Dick 'n' Dom fame (Saturday Morning TV for the O.A.P's reading) Dick was walking alongside and it took all my resolve not to yell out 'Bogie's' ...because I bet they've never heard that before.

Soon T.P.T.B. started herding....I mean guiding us towards the studio area. On route a mutter went through the crowd and walking past a window of a reception area Sven Goran Erickson stood (ex England manager). So three stars already spotted and we hadn't even watched the taping yet.

We had a brief stop in a 'holding area' before we were let into the studio in groups. Megs and I ended up somewhere in the middle on the right side (so much for our 15 seconds of fame). There was a warm up guy called Andy who encouraged much whooping and hollering and to laugh even if the guest isn't funny.

The taping of the show was fun. The studio was bloody hot from all the lights, Paul O'Grady really knows how to work the audience, Shelia Hancock was pleasant and likes a proper cup of tea, the band Pink Martini were excellent, we rocked during the organ game with a jolly sing song and Buster was a real star.

The show went incredibly quickly and it was very interesting to see a real working studio, I'd love to go again.....if it didn't cost so much to get up to London.

FYI whilst mooching around looking for a place to eat Megan and I popped into HMV and spotted Erasure signing autographs...unfortunately we had missed joining the queue for this but I did manged get a sneaky piccie (from afar and ever so slightly blurry)

Another Deadline Bites the Dust

Has been a busy week or so....deadline for my scriptwriting assignment. I'm always my toughest critic so I'll probably never be completely happy with what I wrote but it's finished and readable so that's good enough for now. If you're curious as to what the whole thing was about here's a summary:

A Tandem story exploring the dark, secretive and murderous world of smuggling along the South Coast in 1801. Flashing back events leading to the demise of the most notorious gang along 5 English Counties. Juxtaposed against a Londoner from the modern rat race immersed in a quest for his birthright in gold.

Richard Stern uncovers the clues left by his estranged Grandfather which takes him on an historical journey through Sussex and enlightens him on his elusive and unfortunate heritage.

This mystery adventure culminates in a dramatic finale where past and present collide and Richard’s future is sealed.

What I really hate is the self reflective analysis that your have to write...why you wrote the story you did, the process, influences (The Goonies....well duh), whether is all went accordingly, what you would change....blah, blah, blah. Right load of old tosh, completely annoying to write and generally I just put in a right load of waffle...but the type of waffle that the lecturers seem to like...it would be so much easier if I could just write.....I like stuff so I wrote about it....simple.

The Worst Movies Ever

Loving the horse stunt...pure quality that one!

Oh, and nice to see that John Barrowman once sucked big time (excuse the pun) ;-)

Naturally 7 Live in Paris Subway

Can I just say.....wow, how cool are these guys?

Kingley Vale '07

Not difficult to see why Kingley Vale is one of my favourite places now is it.

Great Truths

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you bend down to tie your shoe laces you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.