Coming Soon to a Cinema near you....

I just remembered that when I went to see Pan's Labyrinth the other day, there were a couple of ever so slightly disturbing trailers....I don't mean disturbing as in the content (well Okay, in a way I do) but I mean it's disturbing that these films were even made.

Now I've only seen the trailers so this is obviously just my own humble opinion, but to be fair the trailers alone were enough to make me want to run a mile.

Firstly there was a film entitled Flags of Our Fathers....from the title you may realise where I'm going with this, but I'll give you a hint.....we're talking an American made film about a significant/world changing (and probably history changing knowing the American film industry) event during WWII.

The flag in question, what else but, the Star Spangled Banner....in particular, the one in a picture showing a bunch of American marines rising it after a particularly nasty battle towards the end of WWII. Which was then turned into a Pulitzer prize winning photograph. So, as far as the film is concerned, we can expect some stirring visuals and special effects, topical, patriotic and politically motivated themes, with a touch of the schmaltzy to tug at the heartstrings.....excuse me while I just go to find a quiet corner to barf in.

The second film seems equally disturbing and was called Black Christmas....Ooooh, I'm scared. A remake of a 1974 slasher flick of the same name (why oh why do they keep attempting to cash in on nostalgia, is Hollywood seriously that strapped for ideas...grrrr.) The trailer starts off with plenty of, oh so, pretty christmassy imagery; fluttering snow, a traditionally decorated house and tree, icicles, a sweet little Santa decoration.....juxtaposed with the tag sequences of: 'On the 25th day, of the 12th month, one man will creep around your house, and leave.......NO ONE ALIVE.... flashes of red and slash marks appear across the screen and a big boobed girl screams, (Okay, that's a little bit of an assumption there on my part, I admit......it may have been a man)......BLACK CHRISTMAS....The Ultimate Slay Ride.....CHRISTMAS 2006.

Oh dear mother of God why? Too many words of contempt, I don't even know where to begin. It will probably be a cult hit...which is unfortunate since the 1974 version already is one.

A comment on the ever dependable IMDB website says that, and I quote, "This is the worst film I have seen all year. It is worse than the Wicker Man remake." I personally think the guy is lying, surely nothing could be worse that the remake of the Wicker Man...I am not prepared, however, to sit through the 84 minutes of Black Christmas (2006) just to test this theory.

Coca-Cola Holidays Are Comin'

Here's my favourite Christmas advert of all time....don't it make ya feel all warm and fuzzy inside (albeit a little thirsty....oh wait I just got it)

Coca-Cola Christmas 2006

It's aabout 25% American and 75% soppy, but who can deny that coca-cola make a feel good christmas advert.

Pan's Labyrinth

I took a wander this afternoon and felt myself pulled towards the local (and yet at the same time oh so far away Odeon) cinema.....it's like a comfort blanket. I wasn't sure which kind of mood I was in and there was a fleeting moment that I was about to cave, to an easy and undemanding viewing experience, and watch Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny....I could indeed use a laugh. That film however was minutes away from starting and every person in front of me in the queue seemed to be opting for that particular flick. I wasn't so much in the mood for being surrounded by people with popcorn, nachos, ice cream and other extortionately priced junk items with ludicrous noisy packaging, so I decided upon the Mexican/Spanish fantasy Pan's Labyrinth.

I'm certainly glad I did. It inevitably won't be to everybody's taste, some people may balk at the idea of having to read subtitles (shoot me down for even suggesting it), others may have problems with some of the visuals (which were occasionally bloody and squirmy viewing)....but I was enthralled by the mixture of civil war story/dreamlike fantasy.

There was some great special effects (which were not over used, a pet hate of mine in many modern films) and there was an enchanting mix of Alice in Wonderland, Grimms fairy tales, many of Roald Dahl books and an ending reminiscent of The Water Babies ( that's not the film but the book, which had an altogether darker tone to the story). The overall look and themes of the film were interestingly dark (and at times a tad 'hide behind the couch scary', see pic), though anyone familiar with director Guillermo Del Toro's The Devil's Backbone should appreciate this reasoning.

If you do fancy giving this film a go, and I heartily recommend that you do, watch it with an open mind and you won't leave disappointed. Seriously, you've got rebellion exchanges with a mightily nasty military captain juxtaposed with a lonely young girls quest to find an enchanted underground kingdom....what's not to like?

Alternatively you could also choose to spend your 6 quid on The Santa Clause 3, or perhaps Jackass the Movie 2......though you will go straight to hell for having a particularly crap and misguided perception of what makes good cinema!

Plus Side to Insomnia

If there is one, I guess it's the stuff which happens when the majority are tucked up and snugglesome in the land of nod. I, however, was watching the sunrise this morning.....exhibit A and B.

Watch Out....Here Be Spoilers!

The weathermen were doing their American 'let's make everyone panic for no reason' style of forecasting the other night. Informing people on the south coast of heavy rain and gusty winds, the worst storm all year, baton down the hatches, don't journey except if completely necessary etc, etc...I personally think this is all Michael Fish's fault for getting the report wrong in '87, ever since then the forecasters have been overly cautious....anyhoo I digress.

Yes, it was indeed a tad damp and blowy but, to be honest, I'm sure there was a worse wind a couple of weeks ago when Ally ate one of Josh's curries. Mercury Point is still standing (more luck than judgement there I'd wager) and no witches were killed by falling houses so for all their fancy gadgets, tech, charts and know how the weather people got it wrong.....again.

Now, to something more interesting.....and a warning for Josh....SPOILERS FOR JAMES BOND & STARGATE: ATLANTIS.....no peeking beyond the photo's.

Firstly, I went to see Casino Royale the other day and as I'd predicted you should never judge a book by it's cover...Daniel Craig makes, a very different but yet, outstanding James Bond.

All the elements of a typical Bond movie were present; explosive stunts, glamorous stars/ starlets, stunning locations, gun play, word play, card play and fore play....and yet there was a whole new level brought in to Bond, as a film and as a character, which will be interesting to see develop for however long Daniel Craig is contracted.....Speaking of contracts, I do hope an 'emerging from water wearing very tight swimming trunks clause' has been written into Mr. DC's for the next few movies! I needed a whole tub of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy ice cream to cool down after that scene....phew!

So, that was James Bond....I was well impressed, so therefore it must be good.

Now, Stargate: Atlantis.....so much for six months, thankfully. That wonderful Country resting above the US of A (and for those of you not geographically minded, I'm referring to Canada) decided to not keep the SGA fans in suspense a moment longer and aired the next part of series 4 a few days ago. I just got caught up this evening and can once again start driving Josh crazy with the inside knowledge I have......*wrings hands in a devious fashion.*

The episode was not actually the greatest of all time, we didn't see any big battle, large or even little fight scenes between the Ancients and the Replicators, which was a shame, and there's something just not right about Jack O'Neill and Woolsey being in Atlantis (even though the banter between the two was entertaining). This however was made up for with Sheppard and McKay's Plan A, McKay's Plan B, or was that F and Ronan's Plan C.....oh, and the underwater jumperbay, I was wondering when something like that was going to show up....The city's floating on a massive ocean people and there's no boats or subs? c' mon!!

Best line of the episode has to go to Ronon who, after listening to a lengthy and rapid exposition piece about weapon capability against the Replicators (delivered by the ever capable and brilliant Mr. David Hewlett aka McKay) simply looks to Sheppard and says....'What'd he say?'....highly gigglesome, to me at least.

Poxy Mercury Point Fire Alarm!

Well, mine's been a mixed bag recently...high, low, high, low, low, low.....and so sleep is becoming problematic, concentration a luxury etc. Anyhoo, this morning was fun (after a fashion)...I'd been up till stupid o'clock working on script stuff and had an appointment with my script supervisor at 11.15am. I settled down to get an hours kip, setting my alarm for 10.20am. The poxy tester fire alarm, which should only go off every other week and that was last week, was sounded at 10am, confusing the heck out of me, who thought it was her own alarm going off andso, in bleary-eyed wisdom, switched it off.....Doh!

I was all snugly and sleepified for another 45 mins before I realised what I'd done, shot out of bed and nearly ran out of the flat still in my PJ's. Got just about enough wits together to throw on a form identifiable to that of an outfit and odd socks before hoofing it to uni. I made it with 3 mins to spare, a personal record.

The good part was, as I was explaining my script stuff, Mark (tutor) was very positive about my ideas, dare I say he actually likes it and says there's a market for this kind of story at the moment....hmm, a script by Emma Kidd....I dunno, personally I think I need a cooler sounding pen name, Emma Kidd doesn't have much of a starry ring to it if you ask me...feel free to make (non-dirty, or sweary) suggestions.

Road Trip!

Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

At 17:00 hours, November 19th 2006, you will obtain a vehicle from outside Club Mercury, Southampton and drive immediately to Blandford Camp, Blandford (approx 30 miles). You will deliver a V.I. package to Lance Corporal (changed due to issues of national security), codename: 'the pleb who forgot his hat' at this location. Your task should take no longer than one hour to prevent an unfortunate, uncomfortable and undisclosed penalty befalling said member of the British Armed Forces.

Your team will consist of:

Elin 'Schumacher' Hughes (designation: the Driver),
Alison 'Fillum' Walllis (designation: fuel consumption supervisor and communications expert)
Betty (designation: the car)......

This message will self destruct in 2.5 Millennia.

Memo to team:

Stoppages during the return journey will incur the penalty of complete consumption of the emergency sugar rations (aka the Maltesers) by the leader and co-ordinator of the mission: Emma 'the almighty' Kidd.

Way Too Much Time on my Hands!

You scored as Rodney McKay.

Rodney McKay		75%
John Sheppard		58%
Carson Beckett		50%
Maijor Lorne		33%
Steve the Wraith		25%
Ronon Dex		17%
Radek Zelenka		0%

Who would your Stargate: Atlantis boyfriend be?
created with QuizFarm.com

So the result was about as predictable as an episode of Eastenders and also slightly confusing when you compare it to the previous results, but what is more worrying is that there's an 25% compatibility with Steve the Wraith!.....now that's just a might unsettlin'

Biggest Dose of 'No Surprise There'

You scored as Rodney. You are Rodney McKay, and while you tend to be a little full of yourself, there is no question you are a good man with a good heart. You would lay down you life for someone else, even those you are afraid to.

Carson		92%
Rodney		92%
Aiden		67%
Teyla		58%
John		50%
Elizabeth		50%

Which Stargate Atlantis Charcter are you Most Like
created with QuizFarm.com

Well we all realised this I sposed...and 92% too, should I be worried?...nah, tied with Carson though so I guess I'm not a complete lost cause yet then.

Domino Day 2006

Apparently the immensely entertaining world of competitive domino toppling is alive and well over in Holland. Channel Five (Seriously who else would televise it) showed an hour long programme dedicated to the world record attempt of the most dominoes felled; creating such classic themed patterns as 1920's slapstick characters, 60's Hippies chic and Retro 70's Disco complete with a 1.5m mirror ball.

Who knew that the realm of dominoes (popularised in the 1980's thanks to Record Breakers and Roy 'the legend' Castle) could be so exciting. The challenge was to fell over 4 million of the little coloured bricks in a game show style format using contestants from the audience to set up the last few bricks against the clock......providing a whole 'will they/won't they', heart in your mouth, 'If they knock one over they're buggered' kind of viewing experience.

If you wish to have a go yourself the record to break is 4,079,381 domino bricks, a piano, a mirror ball and a 1965 Volkswagen minivan......The record hasn't been held by the UK since 1979 which suggests either us Brits don't have the concentration, patience, steadiness of hand or the sheer tenacity of our Netherlandic counterparts, or that the people of our little green isle actually have a life.

P.S. It's worth noting that last years world record attempt named, funnily enough, Domino Day 2005, was tinged with a certain amount of controversy when a renegade, saboteur sparrow went on the rampage within the studio knocking over 23,000 dominoes before being cornered and shot.....A stern warning for those contemplating mischief at subsequent world record attempts me thinks!

God is Watching....Quick Look Busy!

Lovely weather today...glad I live on the 13th floor...even the ducks are panicking. Last night I was watching This Life with Ally when a couple of flashes of lightning occurred outside. Then as we looked out the window a bolt hit the ground just outside the window, shook the building and gave an almighty bang almost instantaneously....scaring the bejesus out of the pair of us. It was really cool!!

I'm surprised the bolt hit the ground, considering that the block of flats we live in is the highest building in Southampton. Mum always used to tell us kids to switch off and unplug everything electrical during a thunderstorm for the reason that if the house got hit all the appliances would blow up....in retrospect this is probably the main reason that storms used to scare the crap out of me as a small child....thanks for that mum. Still the bolt missed us...more luck than anything and no appliances were sacrificed.

So...back to This Life...I watched this drama when it aired ten years ago and had forgotten just how good it is. So it is with much excitement that the reason that it is being repeated now is that a brand new reunion episode is to be shown at Christmas...I'm actually quite excited. The one thing which I remember the most about the series is the most fantastic and unladylike punch which Milly bestowed on some poor, and yet oh so deserving, woman right at the end of the run....absolute legend.
And lastly...I am oh so very jealous, as the advanced screening and Q & A session of A Dog's Breakfast has taken place in LA......without me, bloody cheek! I can only hope that TPTB do the same in London ASAP!

P.S. I have just realised it's Children in Need tonight......that explains the dreadful weather....live television plus rain coming down in stair rods equals hilarious system errors and equipment malfunctions.

Music for the Deaf

I really do have too much time on my hands and really have to stop posting random videos....but this is very funny.

Urban Sprinting

Just because it's belly laugh funny!....as for people not copying, well that's just like a red rag to a bull really isn't it!

Just For Josh

Since he asked oh so nicely, and I quote "Cinefantastic.....What the hell is that?" and to prove that I pay attention in class, or not as the case may be.....ahem...Cinefantastic explores films of a Science Fiction/ Fantasy genre in terms of the way they construct imaginary cinemascapes; engage audiences with spectacle and a suspension of disbelief; Utopian/Dystopian visions and fantasies of existing or potential worlds.....or to put it another way " The real is no longer that of dream or of fantasy or a beyond or a within, it is that of hallucinatory resemblance of the real with itself."

Glad I could clear that up for you.....it's obviously all perfectly understandable now isn't it.

P.S

I forgot to mention that the squaddies were back for a visit over the weekend.........well one squaddie and Nige....Badum bum chish! (apparently there was much drinking and drunkenness, the empty bottles in the kitchen support this theory.....I'm waiting for the photographic evidence!)

Days Like These

Uni was almost worth getting out of bed at stupid o'clock (aka 8.15am) this morning. The optional unit I am taking is Cinefantastic and today we were looking at the 'Alien Messiah'. Some of you may think this sounds a tad boring, a bit on the preachy side even, but let me stop you right there by saying we had to watch and discuss Batman Returns, and other such related Superhero gumpf.

The seminar started out as academic as you can make a discussion about Superheroes....Representations of the God like figure, protectors of society, saviours of humanity from our own technological advances and other such potential essay type material. Ultimately however conversation soon turned to 'who would win in a fight between Superman vs. Batman?' and the traits, special powers, skills and technology of the ultimate superhero.....the particular favourite of the class was the 'Mime Artists' who have the ability to make whatever they mime a reality (eg trapping villains in an actual glass box...genius!). They originate from the deep dark jungles of France(?).....Sounds like a comic book winner to me, and also that the guys who came up with the idea, perhaps, have played one too many games of WoW. (if your not already in the know, you probably don't want to be.)

A second highlight of this particular lesson was the fact that I could relate much of what was being said to the best Sci-Fi show on the telly (imo)....Stargate: Atlantis. Conversation was turning to Alien technology and advancements used (and mis-used) by humans and ascended beings, seriously where else am I supposed to go with that.

In other news...I popped home for the weekend. The folks came to Southampton to take me and my flatmates out to lunch last Friday and I just kinda hitched a lift home, mainly for me to get my washing done on the cheap......by 'cheap' I mean free...and by 'me' I mean good'ole dependable mum.

While at home I tried my hand at Racket ball, which I haven't done in donkeys. The following morning, however, this was made pretty dammed evident. I have discovered muscles which I never knew existed and, to be perfectly honest, I really think have no other purpose than to irritate those of a less athletic persuasion than most. Two days later and I'm still hobbling around as if I were a geriatric who's had their zimmer frame nicked by the local chav army. Personally, I think it was because I failed to warm down properly...yup, that was it....most definitely.....the warming down thing....absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I spend the majority of my time sat on my butt.

I am currently exercising this particular muscle in the more traditional fashion as I settle in to watch the British Sci-Fi night on BBC Four. A whole evening dedicated to the world of British Sci-Fi stories and TV programmes...sounds like TV heaven to a Bognorian/Martian, Sci-Fi television, geek like me....maybe the license was worth it after all.

If You Squint You Can See Me!

Can I just say...How cool was Torchwood last night. Shame it wasn't on last week because it was a perfect example of Technophobia which was what my hosted seminar was all about, oh well better luck next time. Anyway the episode rocked, plenty of action and a fight between a Cyberwoman and a Terra dactyl....now there's something you don't see everyday.



Speaking of not seeing, did you get a load of the fog last night (did you see what I did there) Us students are simple folk and therefore hours of fun can be had with the most simplistic of tools....aka some thick fog and a couple of torches. Like I say hours of fun!! Anyone nearby must have thought we were trying to land planes or create our own lighthouse from the 13th floor.
















Oh and finally...the winner of the 'Ya think!' award goes to the news report about Saddam Hussein being sentenced to hang...anyone who didn't see that one coming needs to run full speed into my stationary hand as I slap them upside the head.

Why Kid's Show's Were Better in the 80's

Everyone remembers Rainbow.....the catchy theme tune, the cute little puppets, singing educational songs and generally all round wholesome family entertainment right? Well watch the clip and remember this is an actual episode from way back in the 80's!!

Did he REALLY do that?!

Another clip from the same film and can I just say.....I really hope that he switched the toothbrush there because otherwise....ewww!!!

A Dog's Breakfast Sneak Peak

I have been meaning to post this for ages. It's a clip from a new, and forthcoming, film called A Dog's Breakfast. A film which I hope will make the rounds at a cinema somewhere near me as it looks really funny. And yes that is the guy who plays McKay in Atlantis, what can I say I'm obsessed....but then you already knew that.

Remember, Remember...

WWIII is currently taking place outside my window which is pleasant when one is trying to relax watching an evenings TV. By WWIII I naturally mean that wonderful time of year which is Guy Fawkes night. The only fireworks that Joe public manage to find of course are the atrocious things which just flash/bang at stupid o'clock, or even better those whistling things....bah humbug.

There was of course the official effort from Southampton and, while the 'kids' forked out £3 a head to go to the fair and fireworks at Mayflower park in the cold, I just watched the whole thing for free in the warmth of the flat. Oh the joys of the thirteenth floor. The pics are the best I can do with a digital camera, through a double glazed window with no proper night filter thingy.

Quaker for the 21st Century

The video in the last post was because I had just figured out how to post vids from youTube and got all excited. I loved Muppet Babies when I was a kid, still do if truth be known, especially Animal....They should really bring back the Muppets, way better than the Strictly Come X-Factor tripe served up every weekend vaguely disguised as family entertainment.

Much hilarity was had by all the other night whilst watching an ad break, of all things. There's a quaint advert for Quaker porridge oats featuring a character from a classic children's show from the 70's, Windy Miller. The ad's are a little bit more risque than the original format but are very funny. This particular ad features a friend of Windy's who's come to visit from Scandinavian and sporting an altogether different style of dress code. After some strategic product placement, as to not offend young eyes, there was a slight unintentional (though I would suggest it was completely intentional) lapse and us eagle eyed students took pleasure in pointing out the apparent great attention in detail of an extra bit of plasticine.

A few days later a report in the daily Mirror indicated that this had been noticed by people other than students with way too much time on their hands.

muppet babies

Eee Gads!

I don't think I really have to make any comment here do I?

Who Left the Fridge Door Open?

Bit chuffing cold today....that's the thing with the weather in this country, fair and reasonable one minute and then, like the flick of a switch, it's like the bloomin' Arctic (okay, so the Arctic may be a tad of an exaggeration but it was a bit nippy and they're talking frost and stuff over the next few days so I'm not impressed). And you don't even have a chance to acclimatize or anything; t-shirts one minute...thermal undies the next...it's a might unsettlin'. I'm only moaning because, personally, I was still hoping for an Indian summer.....any day now. (yes, I know I'm in my only little world, but if that's the case I think it's only right that I should be able to pick the weather!)

Nige put in a very short notice appearance last night with several squaddie mates, so another late night was had by all. I'm definitely getting to old for this malarkey and I wasn't even drinking, which is a hint towards my general dilapidation and crapness because of age. Then again it wasn't a total loss (I refer you to three key words in the first sentence of the paragraph.....and in case you missed it that was 'several squaddie mates')

No More Deadlines (for now anyhoo)

Ah there's nothing like the feeling that you get when you get past another deadline...especially when said deadline is running another seminar. I'm not really the best person when it comes to the whole public speaking thing, my mind has a tendency to go completely blank when trying to form the simplest of sentences and I like to read from a prepared speech when at all possible....this also poses it's own problems, however, as I have a tendency to use lots of very big words. This sounds great when you read them in your head, but turn into the worst tongue twisters when your actually try to vocalise them...doh!

Anyway the seminar went well, plenty of discussion as opposed to last tues because certain individuals were absent from this particular group. I managed to find plenty of visuals for the power point too....visuals are good because (in my little world) if people are paying attention to the pretty pictures they're perhaps less inclined to be hanging on my every word and therefore my nerves are less likely to be shot to pieces. I did however get a little carried away on the picture front, my weekend was predominantly spent searching google images for a very particular screencap from Superman III; of one of the baddies being turned into a robot, an image that is ingrained into my inner psyche after scaring the bejesus out of me whilst watching the film as a young child.

Spent yesterday in bed most of the day after having a particularly nasty migraine, I really hate those things. Still I managed to sleep it off and was well enough by the evening to take part in our Halloween do. This basically involved dressing silly, decorating the flat with fake plastic webs and pumpkins and copious amounts of cheap alcohol. It was all good fun and the twister put in an appearance at one point, which means i don't have to go to the gym today (I failed miserably in every round, though Elin biting me on the bum was a tad off putting....how we were ever that flexible is beyond me).

I finally got to sleep somewhen around 5am and have spent most of the day today mooching around the flat in my PJ's. I used to be able to stay up until stupid o'clock and get up at a reasonable time the next day still full of beans, and what about when you were a kid and would get up on the weekend for the cartoons at 7am. Today I'm absolutely knackered and, as my brain has limited functionality, the only thing productive that could be achieved today was to work through the next four episodes (13-16) of Stargate: Atlantis with Josh.....It's like a public service.

Urgh, have just noticed that it's dark outside and it's a little after 5.30pm....I hate this time of year....I need sunlight else I get grumpy!!